mom fun

8 Wardrobe Malfunctions Every Woman Deals With Once She Becomes A Mom

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The possibilities for wardrobe malfunctions are endless once a kiddo is in your care. Sure, you see those cute moms on commercials parading around in their designer jeans and billowy silk tops, but we all know that’s a load of garbage. Getting dressed as a parent is preparing for battle. It’s also camouflaging yourself as a normal, functioning human. There are so many things to tuck, lift, hide, and squeeze, and even then you have to deal with the constant threat of tiny hands undoing all your efforts. Here are a few fashion fails I’ve dealt with since becoming a mom:

1. The opposite of thigh gap


I’m surprised Smokey The Bear hasn’t cited me yet for all the smoke billowing up from the friction between my thighs. All of my pants are worn out between my legs, and that’s because extra thigh meat comes along with those birthing hips. I look voluptuous naked, and I’d probably be delicious fried up extra crispy, but my Old Navy jeans can’t stand the heat.

2. Camel toe


FACT: once you have a baby your vagina gets really confused and starts trying to devour anything that comes near it.

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