Mommyish Gift Guide: 5 Gifts For The Sanctimommy In Your Life

57539366I’ve read more than one blog post that deals with “What not to get my kids.” Am I the only who finds this totally annoying? 

A holiday gift is a gesture – nothing more, nothing less. I think people are forgetting this. There is no necessity to buy someone a gift – you do it out of the kindness of your heart. Yes, some things aren’t safe for kids, aren’t age appropriate, are too loud – whatever. It’s the parents job to sift through that stuff – not the gift giver. If you find yourself in the annoying situation of having a mom or dad in your life that gives explicit instructions on what gifts are appropriate for their children and you’d like to send a not so subtle message – here’s a few suggestions.

1. Marbles


Nothing terrifies the parents of small children more than marbles. Worst. Gift. Ever.

2. Kiddie Cleaning Trolley


Nothing will piss off an over-achieving sanctiparent more than hinting that his or her child may not own the company one day – but be cleaning it. God forbid.

3. Profanity Generator



Methinks these parents will never expect a gift from you again.

4. Electrocution Game


Hey! It turns out marbles aren’t the most terrifying gift for kids after all!

5. Elmo Knows Your Name

This was a big f-you to parents even before I knew it made death threats.

(photo: Getty Images)

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