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19 Kids And Counting: Triple Dates, 5K’s And Derby Races

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We open this episode of 19 Kids and Counting with more declarations of who is engaged, who is courting and who is a pathetic spinster– the usual. I will say right now- this pair of episodes were somewhat lackluster and not full of the usual Duggar doins‘ we have all come to expect. I think I know what they are up to. Next week is The Wedding and I have a feeling the Duggar’s are doing the only thing they know- saving it for marriage. See what I did there?

The first episode has Jim-Bob and Michelle taking Jill, Derick, Jessa and Ben on a triple date. Based on the previews of a police car pulling over the speeding Duggar mobile, I knew we were in for some kind of cringe-inducing, staged shenanigans but it was even worse than I could have imagined. The occasion they were celebrating on this little date was Jim-Bob (who I keep wanting to call SpongeBob….) and Michelle’s 30th wedding anniversary. They show a montage of old school pictures of them both and we learn that Michelle was once the (pretty hot) head cheerleader at her high school and Jim-Bob was a skinny, scrawny nerd who thought she was way out of his league. Man, did he show her- made her his very own baby machine. Shuck those pom poms, Michelle! The Lord and My Loins have plans for you!

So, the car is speeding up and we all know what’s next- Jim-Bob is pulled over and a cop makes them all get out of the car. It is immediately clear that the cop is in on it and each couple is cuffed together. I was getting all sorts of excited (I may have gasped and shushed my husband) that Jessa and Ben would accidentally touch hands and BOOM, pregnant, but noooo. They had to wear TWO sets of hand cuffs attached to each other so there was no chance of their sinful mitts brushing by each other. May I add a serious note- the way this family treats sex and physical acts of love reminds me of 6th graders. They get so giggly and awkward at the mere mention of a kiss. To each, their own- but I truly cannot understand their juvenile and stilted views on pre-marital hugging and kissing. Ok, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Moving on, we have Josh Duggar getting ready to run a 5K as his “weight loss” story arc for this season continues. Anna is not pregnant so I suppose they had to figure out something else to keep them interesting. Anna, whom I must say is pretty hilarious, is still in that orange make-up. Please, TLC– get this girl the right shade of base. She is so cute and it’s just distracting.

Can I say again that Anna is where it’s at? Instead of being all glazed over and worshipful when she talks about Josh, she gets kind of eye-rolly and seems to have her own thoughts. It is really refreshing after the Stepford wife vibe from Michelle and Jill about their men. Anna has a mind of her own and her kids are a laugh riot. I am going to start a petition for them to have their own show. Minus Josh, because yuck.

Josh states that this 5K should take him about 30 minutes and with his man boobs akimbo, he sets off. He has to walk after a very short while because he is not in the shape he thought he was. Again, the tater tot casserole diet has failed him. He makes an offensive comment about how a woman in a tutu is beating him and then speeds his way to a 46 minute finish. Anna and the kids are proud and he calls his trainer to brag.

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