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19 Kids And Counting: Anna’s Gender Reveal And Josh’s Blurred Out Butt Crack

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I’m still recovering from last night’s episode of 19 Kids and Counting and I may be for a long while to come. The sights these eyes have seen cannot be unseen and for that, I am full of a deep regret and shame that no amount of praying could rid me of. You guys, Josh Duggars’ blurred out butt crack made a highly disturbing cameo in this episode that was supposedly focused on the big gender reveal of his and Anna’s fourth child, but no. This episode is now about the time I stared, slack-jawed, while my last shred of innocence was violently torn away. Join me now. We will all get through this together.

This episode starts off in Anna and Josh’s living room with an in-home gender reveal ultrasound because, of course. The technician sets up her equipment and Anna lays on the couch, modesty intact thanks to a big blanket on her stomach that I’m sure did not at all make the tech’s job harder. Josh has just returned from his work of depriving people of their basic human rights and is paunchy and tired as ever. Honestly, he looks 46 years old. I’m not sure his digestive system has seen a vegetable yet in 2015. He looks like he adheres to an all meat and tater tot diet. Lucky Anna!

Before the ultrasound, we see Anna on the phone with Duggar Family Party Planner Sierra. Because duh, of course they’re having a big, dumb party to reveal the gender. The Duggars will keep this girl in business for the next 30 years or so. #Blessed.

They do the ultrasound and in interview, little Kenzie says “it was so special” in perfect fundie-bot voice so it’s evident that her brain-washing is taking beautifully. Paunch is all excited to learn the gender but Anna tells him of Sierra’s plan to surprise them at the party, so the gender is written on a piece of paper and sealed up tight. I was really hoping the tech would be One Of Us and write “unicorn” or “dolphin” just to fuck with them but alas, no dice.

Of course, this big party means Josh and Anna have to travel back to Arkansas but that’s not all! Michelle and The Boob are going to care for their little ones while Josh and Anna head to California for a little trip on their own. Before they leave, Anna checks the dishwasher and discovers that Michael has filled the soap pod with dish soap. Not dishwasher detergent but actual Dawn. God, she’s so patient. Maybe it’s the cameras but I couldn’t have managed to stay so calm had my kids been messing with the dishwasher. Four for you, Anna. You go, Anna.

They arrive at the Duggar compound to great fanfare. Michelle and Boob are of course SO EXCITED to babysit their grand-babies and Boob is all “second honeymoon, *wink wink*” and I’m like RELAX, Boob. This uterus is already doing the Lord’s work. No need to spill the seed for another several months.

Before leaving for California, Josh and Anna pop by Jessa and Ben’s house, which used to be their house. It’s basically the Duggar Family Teenage Newlywed Boink Palace. God, so gross. Here, have lots of baby-making sex in this house within the same walls as your siblings before you. I wouldn’t shine a black light anywhere in there, Boob! Josh walks through the rooms and I detect a hint of envy as he notices all the baller upgrades including a new tub. The kids seem a little confused about how their old house looks so different but no one is having trouble processing this quite like Derp who cleverly notes the house is “the same…but different”. I swear I saw smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to work it out. Jessa, better make some flashcards.

(Related: 19 Kids And Counting: Jill’s Gender Reveal And New Chores For Everyone)

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