Pop Culture

19 Kids And Counting: The Final Pre-Wedding Tease

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jill and derick

Alright, sports fans- this is it! I have official TLC commercial confirmation that next week is the big 19 Kids And Counting Jill and Derick wedding episode and I can barely contain my excitement. Last night’s episode was all about Jill and focused on her growing up through the years. There was much of the usual squickiness we have come to know and be repulsed by but otherwise, it was actually kind of sweet. I have to say, I have developed a bit of Duggar Stockholm Syndrome whilst watching this show. Jill is a good person and I am glad she’s so happy, even if she is now a breeder for the Duggar baby machine. Ok, Duggar faithful- let’s dive in, full frontal hug style.

It’s the opening scene and the moms Jill has helped in her work as a mid-wife are throwing her a bridal shower. There are shrieking babies and wild-eyed moms all over and this is the point where if Jill were a typical young woman, she might go “BUY ME BIRTH CONTROL PILLS, PLZ” but she looks right at home. I feel the need to point out right now that Anna Duggar seems to have passed down her orange Oompa Loompa make-up to Michelle. She is positively radioactive. I made my husband adjust the contrast on the TV thinking it was a problem on my end, but nope. She’s just tangerine.

Michelle is whining in voice-over about how Jill grew up “in the blink of an eye” and that she has no idea how it happened so fast. Well, I have an idea- life is probably a total effing blur when you spend a good 20 years pregnant and don’t have time to fully raise your own kids. Just a thought.

The shower attendees are all asked by the hostess to sign a print of two lovebirds for Jill and Derick and also, to put their fingerprints on it. Michelle comes running over and says she is going to put her fingerprint RIGHT IN BETWEEN the Jill and Derick birds. Because “they still need a chaperone!!” Oh my God, Michelle- get a grip. I am so very tired of her and Jim Boob (saw that in the comments last week, loved it) not trusting their own adult children in their romantic relationships. They say its “keeping them accountable”. I say it’s a creepy bid at total control over their lives even though they are old enough to drive, vote, smoke, drink and move out. Gross.

Jim Bob talks of being so excited for Jill and ponders what the Lord has in store for her and Derick. Hmmm, I wonder what the Lord could have in mind? Could it be, BABIES? This is a real mystery. I need to give it more thought.

Jim Bob and Michelle talk about when Jill was born (Michelle’s first all-natural delivery) and how she was an easy and “compliant” child who never cried. They called her the “perfect baby”. Mine cried so there goes my bid at perfection. They start showing a bunch of flashbacks and suddenly, I was assaulted by the sight of Michelle back before the Duggars got glamourized. Holy hell, dat hair. And the outfit. She and all of the girls were wearing those jumpers and had the crunchy hair going on. They have come a LONG way since those days.

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