The holiday season is supposed to be full of love and warmth and amazing food, but not everyone has the most functional families or hallmark-worthy moments around their Thanksgiving tables. For some people, the holiday season really sucks and Thanksgiving is just another event to try to get through with their sanity intact.
Are you one of those people who can’t stand spending the holiday with extended family but can never seem to get out of it? Here are some things to add to your table to piss your guests off. Maybe they won’t want to return next year.
Congratulations. You killed America.
Ha! Edible spray paint exists. Have some gold turkey, Nana.
Raisins In the Stuffing
Stuffing is supposed to be sausage and celery and savory deliciousness.
Mince Meat Pie
What the hell is this? And why does Aunt Nancy bring one every year? Congratulations, you managed to find a PIE that everyone hates.
Don’t forget the gravy!
A Dry Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving dinner without wine? This will probably just make it harder for you to deal, but at least Uncle Tony won’t be able to get wasted and tell the same story 400 times.
Instant Mashed Potatoes
How hard is it to boil potatoes? I never understood the concept of these – and if someone served this up for Thanksgiving dinner I would cry.
This Thanksgiving Parade Image
The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Human Centipede will haunt your dreams.
Mmmm, dessert. Congratulations, everyone is horrified.
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(photo: Getty Images)