10 Valentine’s Day Fails That Will Make Your Crappy Plans Seem Romantic

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Valentine’s Day is a beautiful holiday that comes but once a year. As it fast approaches, I’m sure you’re on the lookout for the perfect lovey-dovey token to give your sweetheart.

Maybe you’re traditional, and your significant other always brings you a box of chocolate and red roses. Maybe you like to skip Valentine’s Day gifts altogether and splurge on a romantic dinner for two. Or maybe you’re super lazy and like to pretend that Valentine’s Day is for chumps that are suckered into buying gifts just so Hallmark can make money.

This Valentine’s Day, I urge you to think outside the candy box. It’s time to push the limit and look for truly interesting gifts that your hunny-bunny will always remember. Sometimes gift giving—and especially gift making—goes awry, and that’s okay. You have to keep on keeping on and realize that your true love will understand that you did your best on your quest to find the perfect gift to represent your undying devotion.

Consider these top 10 Valentine’s Day fails as cautionary tales, or even inspiration…

1. Why buy Cupid boxer shorts when you can pay the ultimate compliment to his man meat?


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2. I’m pretty sure that no one can successfully make strawberry heart cheesecake bites, but good on you for trying.

3. This elaborate Valentine’s presentation will never fail to… disappoint.

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4. We’ll take two Big Macs, please. Extra sauce. Anything for my Valentine.

5. This is what I always think of when I think of Valentine’s Day—may the two never meet.


6. This heart-shaped steak bleeds like my heart bleeds for you, my love.


7. The perfect Valentine’s Day gift? Help me understand…


8. I love you so much. Please “huge me.”


9. Adorable Valentine’s Day baby kisses or horrific bruises that warrant a CPS call?

10. For the Valentine with a sense of humor… This pile of shit looks good enough to eat.

(photo: Getty Images)