10 Thoughts That One Guard Outside The Royal Baby Hospital Is Thinking

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If you have yet to join the Mommyish Viewing Party that is the livestreaming outside St Mary’s Hospital, then you’re missing out some Mommyish community fun. While Kate Middleton is inside presumably birthing, our royal baby addled attentions are fixed on the trio of gentlemen protecting the Lindo Wing. Especially the  guard in the foreground. Here are 10 thoughts I think our Guard McGuard is currently having as we await this momentous birth.

1. “I really should have ordered that larger hat.”


2. “I really wish I hadn’t binge-watched ‘Orange Is The New Black'”royalbabyguard8

3. “The others are right. Fiji water is better.”royalbabyguard7

4. “I already told you. No refunds on the royal baby betting pool, man.”royalbabyguard6

5. “Also, should not have STAYED UP SO LATE binge-watching ‘Orange Is The New Black.”royalbabyguard5

6. “They always leave me out.”royalbabyguard4

7. “That reminds me. Forgot to pick up our drycleaning. Damn it.”royalbabyguard3

8. “No, you can’t go over the line dumbass.”royalbabyguard2

9. “I wonder if Kate will let me hold the baby.”royalbaby guard1

10. “This vest hurts my man boobs.”