10 Things Not To Say To A Woman Immediately After Her Water Breaks

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Ladies can go into labor in the darndest places but that doesn’t necessarily warrant some totally not OK reactions. At the moment in which new life is upon you, try not to blurt these out to the closet birthing woman in your vicinity. Or fear WTF wrath.

1. “Did you just pee?”


Does this look like I’m peeing?

(photo: Maia C)

2. “I can’t drive you to the hospital, you’ll ruin the leather.”

leather car interior

I’m about to ruin your face.

(photo: autospecialist1)

3.  “Do you want me to get you a diaper?”

diaper covers

You know, from the boatload we have hoarded in the other room.

(photo: malisonian)

4. “Five more minutes. I want to finish watching this.”

man watching tv


(photo: bterrycompton)

5. “Get the hell out of my armchair!”

leather arm chair

Extra asshole points if you add, “because it’s imported.”

(photo: bterrycompton)

6. “Do you think there is a doctor on this plane?”

airplane interior

Correct rephrasing: “OF COURSE there is a doctor on this airplane, honey!”

(photo: Karin Hiebert)

7. “Damnnit, that was my favorite pair of shoes!”

jordan sneakers

Going out on a limb here but I think they’re worth a tad bit less than my unborn.

(photo:  win ross)

8. “Not yet! Our vacation tickets are non-refundable!”

lego beach

Should have bought that damn flight insurance thingy.

(photo: -BB-)

9. “SEE! I told you sex would work!”

tortoise sex

Not the time to gloat.

(photo: Joe Little)

10. “Say goodbye to your pelvic floor!”

skeleton pelvis


(photo: OctoPoe)