10 Things (Almost) No Mother Wants For Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is a time for celebrating mothers and the special bond they share with their children. It’s also a time for presents. Sure, we moms might say we don’t need anything,that it’s the thought that counts, or that our children are the only gift we need, but deep down, everyone loves to receive a gift– as long as it’s a good one. Here’s ten things (almost) no mother wants for Mother’s Day.

1. A Pet.

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Springing 10-15 years worth of additional chores on us is never okay, even if it is cute and fluffy. Extra eff no points if the pet is something slimy that the kids found in the backyard.

2. A surprise visit from your Mother in Law.

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Unless you have one of those precious, rational and nice models, seeing your MIL on Mother’s Day means the day is about her, your partner and her grandbabies.

3. A plant.

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In theory, a plant is a great gift that you can watch grow as your child grows too. But unless you know mom has a green thumb, a plant puts pressure on us. We don’t want our kids to be devastated when we inevitably forget to water it and it dies.

4. Candy.

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Gifts should be for the intended recipient. Don’t make us be the mean mom for refusing to share on Mother’s Day.

5. Cellulite cream.

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This is not what we had in mind when you asked what we wanted and we said, “Think spa treatment.”

6. A gag gift.

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A cheesy sash and plastic scepter will become a child’s toy by 9 am and fodder for the trash by noon.

7. Breakfast in bed.

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Commercials love to show kids skipping down the hall to greet mommy in a bed full of white blankets with a tray full of gourmet goodies. In reality, toddler hands all over everything means we end up with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease by Tuesday morning. Cold Pop-Tarts in the sealed package, s’il vous plait.

8. Food poisoning.

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You decided to take us out for a nice brunch? That’s wonderful, except that so did every other family within a 200 mile radius. Make sure you get a reservation so we don’t end up at the counter of the local greasy spoon.

9. Perfume.

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Unless it’s in a scent we already love, we will feel compelled to walk around in a cloud of stink for for an appropriate amount of time before it accidentally on purpose slips off the counter.

10. A household appliance.

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Getting us an iron, blender or vacuum for Mother’s Day is as cliche as getting a tie for Father’s Day. And if memory serves correct, we bought you a…. Oh, crap.

(image: PathDoc/Shutterstock.com)

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