10 Totally Not Safe For Children Halloween Things That Will Also Give You Nightmares

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The other day my wonderful boss Meghan Keane asked me if Not Safe For Children was a thing, like NSFW, and I decided it is now and this whole post is all about NSFC Halloween stuff! Halloween is for the children, but according to these totally NSFC items Halloween is totally not for the children and it may not even be for those of you who are squeamish and/or easily offended. Not to get all Sanctimommy about this, but I can totally see where these items and displays are Not Safe For Children. I love Halloween and I love Halloween decorations and houses done up all spooky like, but this is just… gross.

It’s The Great Porno Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! 

Image: Myspace

Image: Myspace

These are just some nice ladies enjoying their Halloween, and nowhere near as bad as what I saw when I hit the google machine. Protip: Do not google “Porno pumpkin.” I can see this going on the steps of a strip club or on a bar counter but in someone’s yard it is totally NSFC.

 Dead Guys Smashed In Driveway 

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According to AZ Family, Jennifer Mullins got the idea for creating these decorations off of Pinterest. At least one woman called 9-1-1 after seeing the bloody scene. That’s what you get for going on Pinterest, Jennifer!

 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre House 

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Even though it’s awesome that James Creighton was trying to raise money for cancer research, I can understand why his house was totally freaking the neighborhood kids out. NSFC!

 This Zombie Baby Thingy On Ebay 

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This thing is NSFC because it’s totally freaking ME out.

Political Halloween Lawn Displays 


(Image: twitter)

This isn’t very festive and do parents really want to take two hours to explain this political viewpoint to their toddler?

Anything Hanging With A Noose Around Its Neck

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This dude in Lansing just can’t figure out why hanging a lynched figure on his porch is pretty not cool.

Grilled Babies 

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This is from a few years ago, but I can totally see why BBQ’d babies would be totally NSFC.

This Dude In This Halloween Costume



 This Food Bacon Dead Guy Thingy 

gross Halloween food 2

From Bacon Time With The Hungry Hypo, I’m sure this thing tasted great but my kids would not sleep for weeks.

Clowns, Nothing Is Scarier Than Clowns 


From Halloween Pictures.Net, this may be the scariest NSFC yet.