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Last week the Huffington Post ran an article titled, “Pregnancy As Disability: Professor Wants Coverage Under American With Disabilities Act.” The article, written by Jeannette Cox, a law professor at the University of Dayton (Ohio), focuses on Cox’s argument that “”pregnant workers currently have less legal standing” than people with comparable limitations,” and therefore pregnancy should be protected under the ADA. Cox’s argument sounds pretty reasonable, but after giving it further thought and posting the link on the STFU, Parents Facebook page, several other factors worth considering came to mind.
First, many STFU, Parents readers pointed out that pregnancy is a condition one (usually) has by choice, and a disability is often something a person must involuntarily live with forever. That distinction alone is hard for many people to swallow when considering labeling pregnancy as a “disability.” But beyond that, many people (including dozens of pregnant women and moms) noted that women are already protected if they have complications resulting from pregnancy, so this “temporary” disability claim isn’t really necessary (and is actually a little insulting). However, I think it’s fair to say that Cox’s push for this disability status has more to do with employers who treat their pregnant employees badly, and her main interest is to ensure job security.
What all of this tells me is that there are many sides to this argument, and all are worth acknowledging. Yes, Cox’s hypothetical solution to the employer problem has women’s best interests in mind, but it could bring about a slew of other issues, as well. For me personally, the potential problems that came to mind have more to do with subjects I’ve read about in STFUP submissions.
As we saw last week, sometimes moms are not particularly sensitive to “old people,” and based on prior posts on my blog along with current submissions, they’re not always especially understanding of the needs of handicapped people, either. In fact, while I’m not saying Cox’s idea of ADA protection is a bad idea, I’d propose that some women would actually abuse their rights as a “temporarily disabled” person both during and after pregnancy. Some already do, minus the official status recognition.
Here are a few examples:
1. Bathroom Stall Expectations
This is an ongoing debate that seemingly has no resolution. Technically the large bathroom stalls are for people with disabilities who need extra space to maneuver in the stall, be it because of a walker, a wheelchair or some other reason. Any mom knows that those stalls are the ideal stalls to use whether you have a baby in a giant stroller or an older toddler who still needs a little help. BUT, that being said, mothers are not entitled to using those stalls, because they are not in fact handicapped. This presents a problem when a person who has no kids and no disability walks out of the handicapped stall after a mother has been waiting with her child and becomes irate.
Don’t believe it can happen? Oh, it can. This is an email I received last week ago from a reader:
I have to say, I’d have done the same as Kristin. What else can you do but laugh off a person who’s yelling at you for taking up a handicapped stall when that person has no disability? Whether the person is trying to get to the changing table, park her stroller, or just help her son use the toilet, the only real solution for parents is to – gasp! – wait their turn. But my question is, if a woman gets labeled as having a temporary disability because she’s pregnant, would she have automatic and immediate access to these stalls? And how would that access play out once she’s had the baby and now has a stroller to contend with (but no “disability”)? Something tells me scenes like the one Kristin described could become much more common.
2. Hockey Game Expectations
I don’t know who Stephanie’s friends are, but I’m impressed with the way they speak up in this thread. I think this is an accurate example of the way many women feel about motherhood, and also a great example of why labeling pregnancy as a disability could be a bad thing. After all, if you’re told you have a temporary disability for nine long months of pregnancy, it could be hard to go back to thinking that you’re just an “average person” who can’t claim the same rights as a disabled person once the baby is born. That may sound ridiculous, but clearly some mothers equate their post-pregnancy struggles with those of a disabled person, so it’s something worth discussing.
3. Expectant and New Mother Parking
I don’t know that it’s a law that pregnant women can cut to the front of any line in Paris, but it’s certainly a fact that France is rated as having some of the best health care in the world. There’s no doubt in my mind that if pregnant women were treated the same in the US as they are in a country like France, I might not even be writing this article. But unfortunately that isn’t the case, so instead of receiving the health care we deserve, pregnant women and mothers cling to the things that make their lives easier, like “special” parking rights at stores and malls. These parking spaces are a hotly debated subject on STFU, Parents and might even warrant their own column someday. But for now, the main issue lies in the fact that: A) Some women believe there should be far more of these spaces (and some even think there should be more expectant mother spaces than handicapped spaces), and B) People become outraged when someone who isn’t a parent (or doesn’t have a child with them) parks in one of the spaces.
I happen to like it when a parent tackles such a conflict with a sense of humor:
Remember, moms: Whether pregnancy will one day fall under ADA or not, if you’re not actually having a rough pregnancy, and you don’t actually suffer from a disability, you’re the same as everyone else. You may be a superhero to some, but to the person using the handicapped stall in the bathroom, and the person parking at the grocery store, and the usher working at the Metro Center, you’re just another lady with a baby.
The story about the handicapped stall cracked me up!
1) Bathroom stalls are not sacrisant, everybody wants the big stall and when the others are full they will get used regardless.
2) The sign says handicapped, not “toddler stall” lol!
It looks like this woman can carry her child and her things by herself without a stroller, why can’t Stephanie?
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/01/21/article-0-0DA7621F00000578-672_472x423.jpg
P.S. I also doubt she’s going somewhere as fun as a hockey game so Steph and mothers like you, STFU about your “problems”.
There are no laws in Paris that allows pregnant women to cut a line. However, it’s a courtesy, to let them go before you, and not doing so is bad manners. But no laws. I think the only thing we have is special seats in buses. But it’s “pregnant women, disabled people and eldery”. Not just pregnant women.
Those stalls are **disability-accessible**, not **disability-exclusive**. It’s only rude to use them if you’re taking them away from an actual disabled person. Otherwise, they’re fair game.
fair game for who? If a disability stall is not exclusive for those who are disabled, then who gets to decide who they ARE for? Yourself?
What if you chose to get knocked up and because of that you give yourself permission to use the disability stall, but then an ACTUAL disabled person comes along and has to wait while you finish your business. And because they can’t drive, they may need to catch public transport to their next destination, meaning that they need to use the restroom right away so they don’t miss their bus. Also, disabled people would probably take longer than the average person to use the restroom, so why would you even take the chance of inconveniencing their lives even more?
In other words, leave the stall free for them. Leave your stroller outside the stall or go find a parents/family restroom. Disabled people have more inconveniences in their lives than you could imagine. If you are using the disabled stall and a disabled person comes along while you are in there – you ARE taking away from a disabled person.
Doesn’t seem very fair to me.
wow. just wow.
**big friggin eyeroll** Way to block the wrong person, Mommyish. You should’ve blocked the troll, not the REAL WMDKitty.
LMAO THATS HILARIOUS SERVES WMDKITTY RIGHT
watch out, I heard WMDKitty is planning on suing the internet for being mean! even though she was the one who told a woman that miscarried that she deserved it…
Hello again, Kit, my favourite person in the whole world. Say what you will about WMDKitty, but she’s tons better than you, you childish little blabbermouth.
ILL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL
Stop. Just STOP.
It isn’t funny, clever, or cool to go around impersonating other people, and I WILL track your ass down and pursue legal action if this continues.
Not. Funny.
If this continues I WILL pursue legal action against both the individual posting these comments while impersonating me AND against Mommyish for not stopping this horrid form of harassment.
Kitty, someone’s doing this on the latest STFU post. I gave B. the heads-up, but you should probably get in touch with her so she knows for sure it’s not you.
hahahahahaha
I guess WMDKitty supports SOPA since she thinks you should be able to “sue” entire websites for having “mean people” in their comments section…just think of a world where every website with a comments section could be shut down because one person cant handle some idiot trolls…maybe if you got off the internet and went outside once in a while, this wouldn’t be such a big deal…seriously WHO FUCKING CARES. lmao go call a lawyer, I bet you will try to sue him after you tell him your “case” and he laughs his ass off.
Can’t believe you’re barking at WMDKitty and not the troll. How very classy of you.
I rarely comment on these kinds of things, but I really have to speak up when it comes to disability.
My Dad is permanently disabled, with a long shaft of metal in his neck the only thing keeping him from being in a wheelchair. He also has a slipped disk in his back, damaged knees from his accident that will randomly give way, a poorly set broken arm that causes him pain, a metal plate in his other arm from another broken bone… hell, he’s basically Iron Man.
The thing is, my Dad suffers from this daily, and because of it all, he gets sick very easily, is unable to work, suffers from a lot of pain, and can just barely maintain a good quality of life.
You know what these mothers did? They had sex and got pregnant.
The fact that people even attempt to compare these two situations does not only disgust me, it makes me /angry/. It’s not just my Dad, either – one of my best friends suffers from MS. A close family friend has Parkinson’s. They will deal with this every single day for their rest of their lives, and may even die because of their disabilities.
Again, what do these women ‘suffer’ from? Making the choice to have sex. Or even making the active choice to get pregnant.
If I ever see some entitled cow trying to pull this anywhere near me, you can rest assured she will be deafened by the sound of my wrath.
I hope you all rot in hell, motherfuckers. Suck my clit! I have a yeast infection, it will be especially…bread like. AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
That wasn’t me.
Don’t me mad, Stephanie. Just admit you’re wrong and move it along.
Hemorrhoids (HEM-uh-roids), also called piles, are swollen and inflamed veins in your anus and lower rectum. Hemorrhoids may result from straining during bowel movements or from the increased pressure on these veins during pregnancy, among other causes. Hemorrhoids may be located inside the rectum (internal hemorrhoids), or they may develop under the skin around the anus (external hemorrhoids).
Ok I think stephanie is a perfect example for what I’m about to talk about me and my daughter go alone to ECHL hockey games regularly as we hold 2 season tickets one for me and one for her. She dose not require her own seat but I buy the one next to me because I do not expect to be treated any diffrent thAn anyone else. You see we have a baby bag and Katie needs room too because she won’t sit on my lap the entire time and if it’s a big game then I at least have a reserved second seat.
As for the woman who thought it was funny to park in the family parking zone. I get it ok is was a childish action. I have leaving my kid in the car when I have to run in quickly anywhere and have waited fifteen minuets for a gas spot so I can run in pay for gas and come out so I can see my car the whole time and only leave the car running when it’s close to -15/-20 out. It worries me to do it yes but I don’t expect to be treated special just because I can procreate too.
Having and keeping a baby is a choice.. Face it there is always adoption or abortion and it is still legal. It also comes with great responceabity. For the mothers and fathers. I admit my child was unexpected and I was young and stupid when I got pregnate but I have had time to pull my head out of my butt I have taken the steps to be able to enjoy my sex life and not have to worry about having another misguided trip in the world of unexpected parenthood. I am a good parent to my child and I do it all by myself. Her father sends hold support because I asked him to when she was two because I needed help but now that I’m on my feet I plan on sending some back or put it into savings we are working out the details.
All in all if u give pregnate women rights they will just abuse them. Pregnate women and women with children are not treated badly here in America. Yes I wish we had the system in france where they have longer maternity leave because its better for both mom and baby tk be together longer in a less stressful enviorment better bonding and less post partium ect. but that’s it.
I think if we pass rights for women with children/pregnate we will see more teen pregnancies and more welfare moms.
Thanks
I JUST SHARTED
I agree and disagree with the notion of pregnancy as a disability. Even if life was grand for the first 2/3rds that end part can be hell. Hips are spreading, balance is off etc. That is a disability same as when I choose to go biking and fell and broke my leg. So in that sense a woman has very right to claim special status for that period just as I could with my broken leg.
People who use the handicap stall just because do suck. the changing table is often in there, also you’ll gripe if we leave the stroller in the aisle outside etc. If you are claustrophobic that’s a disability, no problem there. If you are like the person at BWW and just use it because it’s there, that’s being a jerk.
On the legal side, women are already protected by the FMLA so if someone is being a douche cause you are ‘with child’ report them. No need to get the ADA into the mix
Having babies IS a lifestyle choice for humans. Nobody HAS to have a baby. The only people who say people don’t have a choice about getting pregnant and/or carrying the pregnancy to term in the US are people who don’t use their birth control correctly. If pregnancy is just a “natural” thing then it should require no special treatment and pregnant women should be treated just like everyone else.
Wow what a stupid discussion you fat lard twinkie hogging asses are all having. Although- better for you guys to sit here and bitch than to procreate. God forbid. Do the world a favor and never have kids. Just complain on this blog and the world will be safe. Dont bother replying as I wont be back, my brain cells leak reading your comments about this stupid pathetic debate. Your mothers should have all swallowed you when you were semen.
And no, you don’t sound like white trash at all.
I remember being a semen, actually. I’m perty smart. and I remember exactly when my daughter was conceived. it was the most romantic conjugal visit ever…
How can anyone ( Stephanie ) be so cold hearted and cruel to equate provisions for handicapped people as “perks?” That is all kinds of mentally ill on her part.
Having a bathroom stall or reserved seats for people who need them due to physical disabilities certainly is not a perk. It is a necessity.
She just better pray that Karma does not bestow a handicap on her someday so she will be forced understand what it is like to function with a disability. Maybe only then will she realize there are people in the world who need a little help out of necessity and not privilege.
Sad she has kids who will be subjected to this kind of selfish thinking.
Yeah, that perk thing got me too. Really poor word choice.
I agree with every single thing you said except for:
“That is all kinds of mentally ill on her part.”
That’s stigmatizing and uncalled for.
I had a shitty pregnancy and got basically laid off for being on bed rest. It sucked, but I lived. I wish I could have done something about it, but I live in a “right to work state” so they could technically do whatever they wanted and I was very sick so I didn’t care at that point. However, even sick, I never parked close to the entrance of any building because I didn’t want door dings. “Stork parking” (bleh) didn’t exist then and even if it had I wouldn’t have used it because I find it ridiculous. Exercise is good for you, pregnant or not, that extra 100 feet may be all the exercise you get all day if you have a shitty pregnancy, take the walk! I also never used a stroller. Hate the damn things, they’re a pain. I used a sling or carried my babies. I have been in restrooms by myself with my babies and I’ve held them on my lap while I went pee. You do what you gotta do, it’s ridiculous to expect the world to stop functioning when you walk in to a room because your pregnant or have a baby in tow. We are huge hockey fans, my son has played since he was 5 and my daughter was a newborn. They’ve both been to a gillion hockey games, youth games, CHL games, Tier III games, and NHL games. We’ve never taken a stupid stroller to a rink, never. Good thing that lady wasn’t on my friend’s list. We took a 4 and 5 year old to a game tonight actually, we didn’t expect or ask for anything special. Give me a damn break. I actually have a “disability” and am on oxygen and I still park and walk so I don’t get door dings and because it’s the only real exercise my doctor will allow right now so my ass is spreading and it pisses me off. I do dislike that most changing tables are in handicap stalls, not because I had to wait to change diapers, but because I always tried to rush to get out in case a truly handicapped person needed the stall. I guess it’s the difference between being a human being and a self entitled asshat. /shrug
Wow, hot topic!
I get why parents with kids young enough that they can’t do their own seat-belts & women who are extremely and uncomfortably pregnant would prefer a parking spot closest to the store. Totally. It’s fine with me and I would never park in a spot labeled “stork parking” (ick, seriously) or Mom parking. And obviously, only a monster would begrudge a disabled person their handicapped parking spot.
Here’s what I don’t get: every time I go to Target, or the grocery store, or really anywhere with a large parking lot, although there are plenty of visible parking spots toward the back of the lot, people clog up the driving lanes by idling until someone in a closer spot pulls out. Yes, sure, some of them may be injured or ill, and there’s no way to tell who those people are, and I don’t bother to try. But surely, most of these people are just plain LAZY. No wonder 75% of Americans are overweight or obese. You’d be doing your kid a much bigger favor by teaching him or her that walking twenty extra yards isn’t going to kill anyone — just watch out for the maniac drivers.
That bugs the heck out of me too. Personally, I’d rather quickly choose a parking space further away instead of circling the parking lot several times and/or block passage by idling while waiting for someone pulling out of a closer spot.
Slow, emphatic, 80′s-movie-style applause to Stephanie’s friends. Bravo, amigos. Bravo.
I know, that was amazing. What a dope!
Stephanie’s lucky to have them.
I have MS. I don’t “look” disabled, and some days are worse than others. I use the large stall on bad days because I need the bars to get up and down. When I get a mom attempting to tell me off, I let them know exactly what MS is. That usually shuts them up. Just because you don’t think someone is disabled doesn’t mean they aren’t.
Thank you Karen! My mom has nerve damage from a virus, which first manifests itself like MS. I’ve had people be rude to her when she needed to use the handicapped stall because she doesn’t look ill, but there are times when she can’t stand up without help. Those days, she needs the handicapped stall.
As a mom, I’ve used plenty of the small bathroom stalls with my kid. It’s not as easy as the larger stalls (and sometimes the handicapped stalls are the only ones with changing tables) but it’s not going to kill me or my kid to wait five minutes. Also, if it’s that big of a deal, there are usually more than one bathroom.
Here’s the thing… I have 5 kids, and at some point during each pregnancy (usually the last 4-6 weeks), I thought about how nice it would be if I could park in handicapped spaces. I thought about how rude it is for a man to park in the expectant mothers spot at the hospital, where the parking lot is overflowing with cars and it’s incredibly hard to find a parking spot that isn’t a mile from the door…. however I didn’t complain openly, just grumbled a bit then went on my way. Now, I don’t actually think that pregnant women should get handicapped parking or be covered as temporarily disabled. Most jobs will accommodate a pregnant associate. The large company that I worked for provided me with chairs when they weren’t allowed, bottles of water or other drinks when they weren’t allowed, and snacks when those weren’t allowed. They also tried to keep me in an area close to a bathroom. I didn’t ask for any of these things, other than the water. Now, I do feel that pregnant women who are put on doctor ordered bed rest because of a problem with pregnancy (such as pre-eclampsia or something similar) should be allowed to have a temporary parking pass, since those women aren’t supposed to be walking around or they risk their health and the health of their babies. Though the pregnancy was wanted and asked for, the complications were not. I think that should be on a case by case basis, and those allowed to walk around for up to 4 hours a day (like my friend), don’t necessarily need a pass. I don’t know how much sense that makes, lol!
What I hate most is those people who wait for a handicap stall because they bring their shopping cart into the bathrooms with them! I always find that gross! If you have to go so bad that you can’t wait, please leave your cart with customer service to watch over. You do not need to be bringing that into a stall with you, and contaminate it with your germs! People are going to be using that cart after you.
Holy crap, people do that??
Just a quick observance on pregnant women getting disability status. I worry about the implications this could have for regular disabled people. If all those entiltemommies out there are granted the same status as disabled, methinks there will be no parking stalls, bathroom stalls, or anything left for actually disabled people to use. I am imaging people in wheelchairs waiting in lines behind 10 mommies to use the handicapped bathroom stalls and little old ladies in walkers having to walk across parking lots because of all the mommy vans parked in the handicapped parking stalls.
I know, right? Come on, ladies, woman up and quit yer bitchin!
Holy shit snacks!! Stephanie’s friends are kinda AWESOME. Gold stars for those people!!
Yep, I think Stephanie was not pleased when, instead of the fawning and yeasaying she expected, her friends actually gave her a nice cold dose of reality. She’s probably un-friended them all now. Sigh.
I KNOW RIGHT?!?!
When I came here to read this I totally wasn’t expecting any of the commenters to the Facebook posts to actually call the posters on their shit. YET THEY DID & IT WAS ALL KINDS OF AWESOME!!
It happens so seldom in STFULand, it was a refreshing change.
Okay. I totally get the “disabled” comments and I agree that pregnancy is not a disability. In fact….if we could get over the mentality of “I’m pregnant so I’m going to sit on my butt for nine months and eat Cheetos” then maybe our country might be a little healthier.
But that’s neither here nor there.
What about the places that have “Family Restrooms?” Up until I had a child I never utilized one of those but now that when I am in public and I have to change the diaper of a spazoid one year old AND use the restroom myself….those things are golden. How do we feel about “non” families using those bathrooms? I must admit that I was that annoyed mama one day when I was waiting for that bathroom to open up so I could take care of myself and my baby at the same time. When the door finally opened, a single man that worked for the location I was at came out. I was that mother holding the baby that glared at him. BUT….I didn’t rant about it on Facebook.
Bathrooms are bathrooms and if there was an issue with the men’s room making it unusable you, as a woman, would not necessarily know that . Honestly I’ve seen daddies bring their daughters into the woman’s room – so I am not going to get too upset over someone using the family one – especially since the “family” usually double as the handicapped bathroom in my area.
Honestly – I don’t think that unless we know the person well enough to know what the issue is that we should be judging why they are in a particular stall/bathroom. The whole issue would be solved if places would make larger more accessible bathrooms to begin with. I think A lot of the comments here boil down to the idea that everyone should be treated the same. Not special privileges for some, while the rest are treated as second class.
This post covers much more than just bathroom access as it starts with someone wanting ADA coverage for pregnancy and people with kids ( stroller vs wheelchair seating) not getting “perks” that disabled folks need.
The entitlement that is shown on the facebook posts is overwhelming, really, and what started as trying to give parents a bit of extra help – parking spots and access to extra big stalls – is now being viewed as some sort of “right” to better treatment. If this trend of entitlement continues – I can see more problems in the future and a society that is much less tolerant of any need…..and for me that is the real danger in all of this, but then, I’ll admit to being a worrywort.
If a child is too young to use the restroom by themselves, then the dad should take her to the men’s restroom. Grown men do not belong in a women’s restroom. Same with women who bring their 10,12 yr old boys in the women’s bathroom with them. By that age they should be able to go into a restroom by themselves. Yes, its different if the boys are disabled, but sometimes its just helicopter parents who can’t leave their child’s side for one second.
He worked there? Well, I don’t know what kind of establishment it was, but as a server, I get REALLY annoyed when a mommy and her offspring won’t offer to let me cut in line (my restaurant has one bathroom). I work an eight hour shift with no breaks, and when I have to pee, I have to wait until I have the chance (meaning no food to be run, no tables who need their order taken, etc.) This can sometimes take an hour or more. And then I don’t have time to stand in line behind customers, especially a mother and child who are going to spend 10 minutes in there. And if I did take the time to stand in line, you can bet I’d get complaints that it took an extra five minutes for precious childs’ pancake to come out. So maybe that was his thinking? This pretty much works with any customer service position. Or possibly he had some sort of intestinal problem (like, an actual disease?) and couldn’t wait? This is the problem STFU parents discusses… parents who’d rather glare and think they’re special than accept that there might be unseen reasons for someone to “make your life harder.”
“Family restrooms” (aka unisex restrooms) are sometimes utilized by transgender people to avoid the often fraught situation of using a public restroom. People who are using the “wrong” bathroom as decided by other people are at a very real risk for violence. Using a unisex bathroom can mitigate that risk.
I’m not saying that was the case in this guy’s case, but the next time you want to get irritated that a single person is in the family bathroom, consider that they might just be worried about whether they are “passing” that day and they don’t want to get the shit beat out of them.
(Google Chrissy Lee Polis for a recent example.)
It was at a large location with several bathrooms available. Not just stalls….but different bathrooms located around the location. Personally I don’t use the family restrooms when I’m alone because I know that when you have your children with you it is easier to use one big room than a tight stall.
Laura–To be honest, I would FAR rather a father with a young daughter used the women’s restroom than the men’s. Men’s restrooms have urinals, and I don’t particularly fancy the idea of my (hypothetical) 3 year old daughter walking past grown men using urinals to get to a stall when, really, what could possibly happen from a man going into the women’s restroom? No one is ever visibly naked or exposed outside of the stalls (or at least, they definitely shouldn’t be), so the man will not see anything he shouldn’t. A girl in the men’s restroom very well might.
Handicapped bathroom stalls are not solely reserved for handicapped people (or any else), rather a business is required to have an ADA compliant restroom facility for handicapped people to use.
Exactly.
It’s not like it’s illegal for a non-handicapped person to use a handicapped stall. That stall is there because it’s required by law.
Once again, it’s that “you must appear outwardly & obviously handicapped or you’re not allowed to park there or use that stall” thing that gets me.
How does anyone know that the person using that stall doesn’t have a colostomy bag & they need the space & time to empty or change it? Maybe they’re changing their adult diaper, maybe they’re changing their pad or tampon (seriously ever try to do that in some stalls, it’s almost impossible in some of the teenier ones).
You don’t know why they went in there or why they stayed as long as they did. They may or may not have a legit reason & you won’t ever know because you aren’t in there wit them & if you are you’ve got other issues.
So next time someone who appears not to have an outward & obvious handicap comes out of a handicapped stall, get out of the way, let them pass & then go in & move on.
I’m a mom. And, shortly after my son was born, I began treatment for tumors and a chronic pain disorder (even had to be on a cane for awhile). So, “disability” double-whammy.
But you know what? When I had to take my baby somewhere with me, I planned ahead and didn’t expect special treatment. I also basically never used a stroller because they’re huge and clunky and get in the way of everything, and I felt like it was rude to be taking up so much space around other people.
I even :gasp: managed to use the regular stall! Amazing!
Entitled mommies piss me right off.
I wish all parents were like you.
As far as I’m concerned, if you’re not disabled and you use the handicapped facilities, you’re plain rude and that’s enough to annoy.
As for special treatment for having a kid, give me a break. There’s courtesy and manners – i.e when I didn’t have a kid, I always offered my seat to a woman carrying a child/stroller/heavily pregnant. But I got – and still get – furious when entitled mothers seemed to believe that having a child suddenly made them royalty.
So yeah, it sucks when I’m out with my son and I have to pee and oh dear lord those stalls are tiny. But hey, I signed up for it and let’s be honest, it is not the end of the world. Takes you what, 30 seconds to pee? So whatever. I have no complaints about how people behave when I’m out with my son, I take him everywhere and people are always nothing but courteous and accomodating. Seriously entitled mommies, STFU.
I disagree that its rude to use a handicapped stall, especially when there is not a lot of people around, I see nothing wrong with it. They are also usually the stalls that are fully stocked as well as clean. So I have no quandaries using them.
It would only be rude if someone who actually needed them came in. Like riding the subway or the bus, there are seats that can be folded up for wheel chairs and are to be given up if a disabled person came on board, but you are not going to not sit there if no one else is using it.
I disagree with this. I don’t have an actual disability, however I do have severe claustrophobia, and when I have to use a regular stall, I end up in a full blown panic attack. I will let anyone handicapped use the stall first, but I refuse to use a different one just because I’m not actually disabled.
I was taught as a child that you shouldn’t use the handicapped stall unless it’s the only one open. If every other stall is occupied, there’s no real reason for you to wait when there is, in fact, a stall open. What happens if a handicapped person comes in? They have to wait, sure. But uh…they’d still have to wait even if they weren’t, because all the stalls would be full. So what difference does it make?
In some places (like certain restaurants), there are precisely two stalls, one of which is handicapped. The odds of the handicapped one being the only unoccupied, working, clean, toilet paper-having stall are generally pretty high.
Also, I would not be at all surprised if the stalls in some places were too small for a lot of people to use comfortably. I’m a rather petite person and I’ve had times when it was tough for me to open the door (inward, of course) and get out. Anyone who was at all on the bigger side would have had to practically stand on the toilet first. That seems like a valid reason to use the handicapped stall to me
Not all disabilities are visable. I can’t get off the toilet with out the bars in the handicapped stall. I’ve been accosted by these entitled mommies and when informed that I am disabled, that I need the bars, I’ve been told “then get someone to help you off or stay home.” No – but I will continue using the handicapped stalls and I will start taking my own sweet time about it.
Being pregnant and/or being a parent is not a disability and I am sick of the attitudes shown by so many parents. Get over yourselves already!
The France thing may be true… France is having a major population drop and they are doing all the can to encourage procreation, including offering free personal trainers post-partum. Women of the US, if you want this treatment, you will have to convince about 70% of the rest of the childbearing women to stay on the Pill.
That email you got is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve had a jerk of a mother yell at me for using the disabled stall – and I’m disabled. She said with my canes, I could fit into the normal stall but she with her stroller couldn’t. I’m glad my stomach was upset – from my massive number of required medications for my lifelong chronic pain disorder – and she had to wait a while for the stall.
:O That is unbelievable!!
That’s awful. What a terrible thing to say.
I hate that lady ranting about the metro center. If I had to take a baby on the bus *alone* (sob! Im alone you guys. Did you get that? I was by myself)
I certainly would NOT bring a stroller, that is a terrible idea that creates more work than it’s worth. Put that baby in a carrier and throw a few diapers and wipes in your purse. An Ergo is real easy to get a baby in and out of once you’ve practiced a bit. That lady needs to get over herself.
IKR!? As soon as she tries to defend her callous and entitled comments with “but I’m allll aloooooone!” I thought “yeah, what a shocker! Who wouldn’t some o’ that high-maintenance drama?” ::eye roll::
Who are these people who think that pregnancy gives you these special rights? I was recently pregnant and, thankfully, had a very easy pregnancy. Every time I saw one of those pregnant women parking spaces, I parked somewhere else and thought “let’s leave that for the pregnant mom having a rough pregnancy who is trying to take her other kids to the grocery store. I don’t need it”.
You’ve got a great attitude, Susan. Reading about your kindness is a nice antidote after reading the submissions in this column!
Exactly. I did the same for the first super easy 7 months of my pregnancy. Because I didn’t NEED to park close. I could walk, I could work waiting tables, I could carry and do everything I’d done before. I didn’t know what the fuss was about. That said, I do think those spaces are needed….I got heinously, horribly ill during the last couple months of my pregnancy….it ended up being 2.5 years of lying inert in pain on my couch between stays in the hospital, and it cost me an organ that I dearly miss. And those last two months were so painful that I literally couldn’t be bothered to stand up for 5 minutes to shower. There are women really going through things like that, they do sometimes have no choice but to go purchase things, and it takes a while to get classified as disabled for a handicapped parking spot….not to mention it’s one more thing to do when you’re in intense pain, one more doctor’s visit, one more dmv trip, etc. So, it’s kind of nice to see places that have them. I appreciated it when I suddenly actually needed it. The real problem is self-righteous pregnant assholes who don’t know the difference between a need and a desire for close parking.
I’m pregnant right now, and I have the same attitude. I keep thinking, maybe when I’m further along I’ll use it…. but “further along” keeps on coming and I have yet to feel the need for it!
You bring up a good point, hootiehoo. While I wouldn’t begrudge you that courtesy spot–and I’m glad you had it when you needed it–this part of your post, minus the pregnancy, could apply to a lot of people:
“I literally couldn’t be bothered to stand up for 5 minutes to shower. There are women really going through things like that, they do sometimes have no choice but to go purchase things, and it takes a while to get classified as disabled for a handicapped parking spot….not to mention it’s one more thing to do when you’re in intense pain, one more doctor’s visit, one more dmv trip, etc.”
So many injured, ill, or newly-disabled people live like this for much longer than a few months. I myself went through it for five years. So where do we draw the line? Do those people deserve any less than someone in a very similar situation, just because they aren’t pregnant?
You certainly seem to have the right attitude about this, so I hope you understand that I’m not picking on you. Like I said, I take no issue with you using the space–you were exactly the kind of person it was intended for. I’m just questioning why others don’t get the same courtesies from those who provide them. The answer boils down to money. Stork Parking is provided as a marketing gimmick, to appeal to a specific demographic–families, with family-sized budgets. And you know what? I’m fine with that, as long as people realize what’s really going on, and don’t start expecting to be treated that way everywhere. Just another angle to consider.
Here in Kansas City I have never seen an expectant mothers’ parking spot. Does that mean we are selfish bastards or totally egalitarian?
I’ve said this before, I’ll repeat it again.
PREGNANCY AND MOTHERHOOD ARE NOT DISABILITIES. THERE ARE THINGS YOU JUST AREN’T ENTITLED TO, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO:
*Special parking spaces with extra room.
*The handicap bathroom stall.
*Preferred seating of ANY kind in ANY venue
*Cutting in line. For ANYTHING.
Now, get outta my parking space, and keep your nasty biohazardous carpet-creepers outta the only damn stall I can actually use.
Thank you! ^_^
i saw your pic wtf is wrong with your face lmao lardo
I may be overweight, but weight can be lost.
Unfortunately for you, Craig, stupid is forever.
Oh Yay, another super classy person who thinks he’s a big shot for bullying someone over the internet. Craig, you’re a douche.
I second Miss Norris. A douche indeed.
Yo Craig, WTF is wrong with you?? What a completely rude thing to say for absolutely no reason. What do you do? Go around pointing out everyone else’s every flaw so no one has time to notice that you’re a total loser? Newsflash: it’s too obvious to miss.
I love you WMDKitty – on here and on STFU, Parents comments!
STFU, Craig.
I disagree with the preferred seating one.
Even those with healthy pregnancies get sore backs from standing too long. We’re carrying a great amount of weight in front by that point.
The bus driver used to ask people in the ‘priority seating’ area to get up for me when I was 8 or 9 months pregnant. I wasn’t thinking myself to be royalty, but a civil society recognizes when someone is having a harder time. The attitude of “you chose it, so you can stand all the way home” or “why should I give my seat to you” smacks of someone who wasn’t taught empathy.
In keeping with the arguments here, “you chose the priority seat, so if the bus driver makes you get up for someone who needs it, tough noogies for you.”
Now that I’m no longer pregnant, I no longer expect it.
That’s one thing I don’t like about STFU Parents. The comments go beyond eye-rolling at the extremes to hostility towards anyone with a kid.
That’s the sad thing, JMB. People like WMDKitty are not only tolerated, but ENCOURAGED to make death threats against children and their parents on STFU Parents. Most of the parents featured on STFU Parents are ridiculous and stupid, but when you read the comments section, half the time WMDKitty makes some insane and nasty comment and you know everyone there is thinking, “oh God, she’s doing it again, lets just not reply and ignore the crazy.” Its ironic how some of the commenters complain about submissions where the Mombies friends are agreeing with her, yet the STFU commenters do the same thing with WMDKitty. And her stuff on STFU Parents isn’t even the worst – she has been called out multiple times about telling a woman who miscarried that it was her fault for procreating.
I’m assuming you have better things to do with your time and energy than continually rabbit on about teh “mean kitty” and how “cruel” and “evil” I am.
I may have issues, but you, my dear, have a full subscription.
The one STFUParents comment section I remember reading was where WMDKitty started randomly screaming about how her ex-boyfriend used to pee on her in the shower. LOL.
@Lauren — Yeah, because abuse is SO funny, LOL. I sincerely hope you never have to experience it firsthand.
JMB, your comment was very reasonable, so I’m not directing this at you.
But YOU, Lizzy: NO ONE is encouraging death threats at STFUP. On the contrary, all threats of violence in the comment section is frowned upon, so I don’t know what page you’ve been frequenting but you’re wrong. And far from all the commenters agree with WMDKitty. (And your statement is totally illogical. First you say that no one replies to WMDKitty’s comments and then you say all commenters agree with her.) And I have certainly not seen WMDKitty make any death threats anyway.
And Lauren, what the fuck is wrong with you? How the hell can you think that’s funny? Do you have a pee fetish and expect everyone to share it? Good grief.
Jesus Craig is an asshole.
I sat here for 30 seconds trying to “like” Léo’s comment…
WMDKitty has some serious problems. She harassed a woman who miscarried and kept saying that “that’s what you get for trying to have BABBIES.” There was another time when a single mom of a 2 year old was saying that she had to give her cat to a shelter because she could just not afford to keep it anymore. WMDKitty started saying that the woman’s 2 year old should be put down instead of the cat and that she would “find out everything about her and make her life hell” for giving the cat away and she deserved to die for “choosing YUR PRESHUS CROTCHLET over an innocent animal.” I can give a million more examples. And the people who haven’t banned her yet (like the STFU blog) only are forcing themselves to feel bad for her because she is an obese recluse in a wheelchair.
What the hell does that have to do with this post?! And just BTW, calling another person “an obese recluse in a wheelchair” isn’t particularly classy either.
At least I don’t internet-stalk people and tell lies about them.
Also, what does it say about YOU that you’re posting lies about me? (BTW, that IS slander, and I COULD sue you. If I were anywhere near as “mean” as you make me out to be, I would not warn you of the possibility, and I WOULD be slapping you with a lawsuit.)
Huh. And I’m the “pathetic” one?
Get a fucking hobby, kthxbai.
I don’t think you can sue people for being mean over the internet or making fun of you for being a fat cripple LOL
For being mean? Maybe not.
But for demonstrably LYING, yes.
@WMDKitty — I feel the need to mention that I literally cried and felt sick to my stomach when reading “Reality”-s post, since while I don’t always agree with your comments I definitely don’t believe you’ve ever said anything like that. S/he is definitely the one who is pathetic. Not to mention sickening and creepy.
And MR DERP, go fuck yourself you inconsiderate jerkface.
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, this confused me too. How is this related to this post?? I also agree with @Miss Norris. Insulting someone who YOU say is rude is really like calling the kettle black.
Thanks, Miss Norris.
At this point I’m more baffled than insulted.
I just don’t get why people are so damn mean.
I’m nowhere near perfect on that front, myself, and I’m stubborn (which doesn’t help). I get upset sometimes. Other people get upset sometimes at things I’ve said. Okay, fine, it happens.
But holy fuck, to go following someone around the ‘tubes and be all “this person is a super-meanie-head and blah blah blah”? What a waste of energy!
I’m sure my “fan(s)” have better things to be doing with their time and energy than, well, this. As for me, I don’t think I’ll waste any more energy on it — not worth the time. Heh, the second the “mean-kitty” shit started on the other thread, I just stopped responding. There was a time not too long ago I’d have gone off on a rampage over that kind of thing. (Look, Ma! I’m growing up!)
I just don’t have a fuck to give about that particular POB. If they wanna be all RAWR ATTACK, I don’t care. The only lives they’re gonna ruin are their own, because bitterness and hatred only bring you more bitterness and hatred. I refuse to participate anymore.
@WMDKitty — I agree with you 100%. I couldn’t believe that other thread either, but this one was just so crazy-train that I had to comment on it.
Sure, you can be a bit crude sometimes, but I’ve never seen a comment by you that has made me want to stalk you with this crazy shit (and I’ve read every single post on the STFU, Parents-blog so I’ve seen your comments A LOT). I’m in fact usually quite amused by your vocabulary
It’s great if you don’t care about the haters, but I’m sending you internet-hugs anyway just to be sure.
Its funny how you pretend that all of those stories about you are made up, when MULTIPLE PEOPLE have called you out MULTIPLE TIMES on different blogs! The sad thing is I actually really like STFU Parents and have been reading B’s blog for about 6 months now. I noticed that in the comments section, WMDKitty will usually make some ridiculously nutty or rude remark, and no one calls her out because they either feel bad for her or she is on their so much that she is a “regular.” One of the most memorable being when she flipped out on everyone because she kept saying that people have NO RIGHT to comment on their pregnant friends Facebook status giving them suggestions. Another time a girl said “a guy coming on your face doesn’t always mean hes abusive” and WMDKitty flipped out and said “that demeans EVERY ABUSED PERSON, shut the FUCK up.”
I’m not going to go into whether I think WMDkitty is ‘mean’ or not. My point is, in this case, she hadn’t said jack shit that was rude or inappropriate and ole’ Craig up there just starts the shitty name calling for no reason. I have gotten inordinately sick of all the shitty attitudes in the comment section of STFU, Parents. It’s bringing the whole thing down. So, why don’t we just not do this crap to begin with. And if someone does, I’m going to tell them what an ass I find them to be. Craig, you’re an ass…see above where I elaborate and stop creating these shit storms, thanks so much.
Yo, Kit. Did you even read Reality’s comment? The examples you’re giving, which if I recall it right have a grain of truth in them but are terribly out of context, are not halfway as bad as the bullshit Reality is claiming WMDKitty has said. You’re grasping at straws here, honey. Besides, what you said about the STFUP commenters is quite untrue. If someone makes a mean-spirited comment at STFUP, they will be called out, both by other commenters and by B herself. This goes for WMDKitty as well as everyone else, and I’ll be happy to redirect you to a thread where B and WMDKitty have a lenghty discussion over a comment that B found inappropriate. So how about you shove it, STFU and learn the difference between “their” and “there”.
Lol.. If you want to be petty and start pointing out misspelled words, police your OWN spelling first, Miss Norris. I believe the word you were looking for was “lengthy,” not “lenghty.”
yeah and Chuck Norris jokes were cool 6 years ago. but I guess people who never get off the internet and go outside wouldn’t know that. let me guess, you guys sit on your asses all day and then complain about how “society” is causing you to be overweight? LMAO. read WMDKitty’s comments on the ageism article about how its wrong for anyone to have “babbies” because everyone should be adopting instead.
Mel: Point well taken. I was angry and didn’t spell check. My bad. The their/there thing was not the main point of my comment, but I will own it.
Lauren: 1. What the hell is a “Chuck Norris joke”?
2. You do not know anything about my internet habit or how much time I spend outdoors.
3. Nor do you know anything about how much I “sit on my ass”
4. I am not overweight, and even if I was I wouldn’t blame it on “society”.
5.PMGO
6. I have read WMDKitty’s comments on the ageism article multiple times. I consider them to be a bit exaggerated, but I also see the point she’s trying to make. Those comments are not anywhere near as bad as the ones Reality claims she has made.
7. So what was your point again?
*pfft* EVERYONE in Europe (Paris) pushes ahead in queues, preggers or not. The concept of waiting politely in line is a foreign concept there, just an observation from my travels anyway.
I can see where there is an issue where you have multiple squogs on leashes and a stroller to haul around, hence using the bigger cubicle. However I think this is more of an attitude in our society (I’m from Australia, the US is very similar) that pregnant women as not catered as much as in Europe. Why not have a large cubicle for disabilities and another with a change table?
Unfortunately its all about the bottom dollar, some reasonable solutions cost coin.
Exactly! we have those “big one with the change table” in most places I’ve been to in Canada (5 provinces), and I have yet to see people argue over the disabled’s.
Im from England and waiting in line is something we do extremely well thank you! Yes I am bored…
That’s total bullshit. Have you even been to Paris? People are very good at queueing, and get very snippy with people who try to cut.