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I like dogs. I happen to have two very energetic and lovable black labs constantly trying to nudge my hands away from the keyboard and behind their ears at the moment. I agree that pets can be a whole lot of work. Especially when they’re puppies, they need plenty of attention, potty training and playtime. Heck, they might even wake up crying in the middle of the night. But let me very clear, having a pet is not like taking care of an child.
I don’t care if you buy your dog clothes. I realize that you love it a whole, whole lot. It doesn’t matter if you carry it around with you. Even if you have to leave some social engagements early to take care of the thing, that doesn’t make your dog any closer to baby-status. Put it on your Christmas card, celebrate it’s birthday, refer to your parents as grandparents, it doesn’t matter. Your dog still isn’t a child.
Why? Let me count the ways. For starters, you can leave it home alone for hours at a time. When it’s being bad, you can throw it in a cage. It never refuses to eat or throws the food back in your face. You don’t need to start saving for doggie college any time soon. And as long as you don’t beat it, you can be pretty confident in it’s emotional stability and ability to live its life happily. In fact, even a few swats on the behind won’t hurt it.
I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow spoiling a pet started to become the equivalent to raising a child. As if throwing a lot of money at something makes you a parent. As if all that a parent does is buy food, toys and the occassional outfit. Spending more money than you need to while taking care of an animal doesn’t turn that animal into something it’s not. It’s not a baby.
This sentiment of “having a puppy is just like having a child,” has become so pervasive and yet it’s so offensive to parents who are actually trying to raise kids. It’s belittling to the effort and thoughtfulness that we put into our job as caregivers. It’s insulting to equate the two.
The basis for this new “dogs as kids” movement seems to be that people love their pets as much as they would love a child. And ya know, that’s fine! A person has every right to love a person, pet or inanimate object as much as they would like. Have at it! I hope you and your pooch are incredibly happy together.
It still doesn’t change the fact that no matter how much love you put into taking care of a pet, it’s in no way comparable to the amount of energy involved in parenting another human being. The responsibility levels, the stress, and even the money, they simply aren’t in the same hemisphere.
So please, go on adoring your dalmatians and snuggling up with your schnauzers. I’m going to give my mammoth dogs a good rub down in about fifteen minutes. But stop referring to the work that goes into petcare as equivalent to parenting. No matter how much you love your pet, unless you’re interviewing for its acceptance into an elite pre-school or worried about the impact of time-outs on its emotional development, caring for your dog is simply not as intense as raising a child. And you should stop pretending that it might be.
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Amen! Just came across this as I was searching for a way to comfort a friend who had lost a pet. Who, by the way, had not even mentioned any condolences to me for a close (human) family member who has been recently diagnosed with inoperable cancer. But I digress, ahem, point is – I couldn’t agree more. People who compare having a pet to having a child are, um, pushing the envelope a bit (read: sarcasm). HOWEVER, most of the time they don’t have the experience of actually raising a child to compare it to so . . . you can’t fault someone who lacks experience. The reality is – for most (sane) people, once you have a child you realize that that little life is the most important all consuming thing you could ever experience. And if you don’t have children, you just don’t know. I don’t think this article is hateful at all. Just speaking the truth.
Obviously raising kids is more work but after them, looking after a dog is a huge responsbility and can cost a lot of money whcih is probably why many compare it to raising a child. You may not to need to start saving to send them to “doggie college” but you have to save to get them medical attention because vets are not cheap and unlike doctors for humans when a patient doesn’t have medicial insurence, vets can refuse to treat an animal if the owner can’t afford to pay them up front. By the way, there are dogs who refuse to eat. My parents have a difficult trying to get their extremely picky dog to eat.
There nothing wrong if someone feels that having a dog is like having a child nor should they have to stop pretending all because some parents find it offensive and belitting to their parenting job. Those parents insecurities are not their problem.
25 days ago
[...] Bahahahahaha! [...]
I’m not really sure who your blog was targeted toward. Who compares having a dog to having a kid — I mean SERIOUSLY? My Hubby and I (struggling with fertility) have three extra-large breed dogs and we consider them our “kids.” We don’t dress them up or take them to the doggy spas. We don’t push them on people, take them to restaurants (or anywhere), or expect special accommodations. But we have our commitments to them because they rely on us in a way that is like a child-parent relationship.
In no way having a dog “prepares” you for having a kid. They’re not the same. Not to say people who have dogs should be shrugged off as carefree, though. Having dogs doesn’t always make life easier, for example, holidays with our out-of-town families are stressful! Dogs aren’t really accepted at most people’s houses (not that I would expect them to be), so we have to rush through things to get home and let them out. If it were a child, we could bring along.
I’ll just leave this here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=VMeXGE_a8Gg
What the hell is wrong with commentors on this site?! Any article that’s written with even a slightly sassy tone comes across to these people as insensitive. It’s called sarcasm, people. This whole website is borderline satirical, so if you don’t like it, read the more politically correct crap on Babycenter. Lindsay, keep up the good writing.
You should consider following your own advice, Amanda. Even if Lindsay had been politically correct, the reaction still would have been the same. negetive reaction is inevitable on comment forums. If it you don’t like it, there is a simple solution… just read the article.
Obviously the two are different. I personally think kids are more work – but having a pet like a dog isn’t a small responsibility. And you know what, some people MIGHT be just as into their dogs as people are with kids – they might be just as stressed, just as tired and be pouring just as much money into them as you are with your kids. It’s all a matter of what people choose to care about and how they choose to behave and react to stuff. They might consider themselves parents to their dogs – what’s wrong with that? Just because it’s not the same thing, doesn’t make one better and the other invalid.
I think I get irritated at the high-horses parents get on…nobody is saying that kids aren’t hard work. Nobody is saying that you aren’t tired and stressed out and busting your butt to raise your kids right. Nobody is saying that kids are no big deal. All they’re saying is that for them, raising their dog is like raising a kid.
Also, my parents, who have raised 6 kids and 2 dogs told me and my husband when we got our 8 week old puppy “You should know – it’s going to be like having a baby – getting up in the middle of the night, making messes and misbehaving.” So clearly it isn’t an offensive comparison to ALL parents.
I actually had a friend compare taking care of her dog to me taking care of my 2 year old. I was very insulted by this as was my husband when I told him. I owned two dogs for many years before I had my first child and the two aren’t even close to being comparable. It’s true that taking care of an animal is a great responsibility, and I’ll gladly admit that I would come home from work and say to my four-legged best friend that greeted me, “how’s my baby?” before cuddling with her, but the two are completely different.
Yes, you can try to prepare for a child by taking care of a dog first, but nothing will actually prepare you for parenthood other than being a parent to a child. Having a dog teaches responsibility like taking the dog for walks, cleaning up after it, feeding it, etc. But a child needs so much more. I loved my dogs dearly and there were moments, but nothing was as intense as having a baby. A dog will sleep or lay most of the day while a toddler will jump on you constantly and need constant attention all day. There are no breaks with a toddler. I worked full time when I owned dogs because I could leave them at home all day. With a child, I have to deal with daycare or babysitters which not only adds expense, but worry for my kid’s well-being and health, too. I can run to the store with my kid but it will take me a half hour to get out of the door and it will add another half hour to the time inside the store. With a dog, I can leave it at home and be back in 15 minutes. Hanging out with a friend? Let me know a week in advance so I can get a babysitter. With a dog, I’ll tell it I’ll be back in a little bit and return 2 hours later with a doggie bag of leftovers. A baby may need to wake up twice a night to be given a bottle while a dog can either wait until morning or you can spend 1 minute putting food into it’s bowl versus the 20 minutes of feeding and 15 minutes of rocking/burping/singing/crying.
And no, there’s nothing wrong with giving your dog constant attention and treating it like a child, especially if you are unable to have a child of your own. I commend people for giving that much love to a pet. I did that myself. I just want people to realize that each has different needs and therefore affects your own life differently.
I realize this is aimed at dogs but as a woman with a 4 month old as well as 3 cats if someone asks me I tell them I have 4 kids, but three of them have fur. Now don’t tell me cats are even more self sufficient than dogs and they do not require the same time and energy because it is simply not true. I’m constantly refereeing the 3 of them and having to discipline (yes, you can discipline a cat, whether it works or not is a different story…) them as well as teach them to be gentle to the new baby.
I struggled with my fertility and thought for a long time that my cats would be the only kids I’d get. Now that I have a daughter I don’t view them any differently than I did before. I refer to them as “brother” and “sister” to my daughter. She will grow up knowing that these animals are members of the family and will be treated as such. No, I’m not crazy, I’m a perfectly sane human being.
I agree with those who said this article comes off as incredibly insensitive. Personally I feel it’s rather condescending. Why does someone referring to their pet as their baby infuriate you so? You say you understand it but I’m not sure you do or the tone of this article would be different.
Agree with Rachel below – this comes off very mean and insensitive to those whose only chance at raising/loving another thing would be a dog.
Who are you to tell people what they can and cant compare parenting or dog rearing to?
It seems to me that if you find it insulting, then that’s more of your own personal problem. People who compare the two aren’t trying to belittle your work — they’re just trying to relate and share common ground with you. I’m a parent and I’m not insulted at all when someone compares having dogs to raising children. I know which is harder, and dont need validation or props from the world for something I chose to take on by having a child.
I’m both a mother and a dog-owner. I agree that raising a child versus raising a dog are two different things, however, I feel this article is very insensitive to families that may struggle with fertility and maybe aren’t afforded the opportunity to raise a child, and therefore throw their hearts into raising dogs or other pets. I know families like this, and I bet they find much comfort in caring for their animals as “children”. There’s nothing wrong with that (as I realize you stated in the article).
I think this article is quite hateful and I don’t understand the purpose? If someone wants to dress their dog in Juicy and make comments about the sacrifices of dog ownership as compared to parenting, whatever. Who are they hurting?
Sometimes when my German shepherd has explosive diarrhea all over the house, I proclaim my toddler is 100x easier to deal with. Just words.
I agree entirely with Rachel, this article comes off as rather hateful.
I also agree with Rachel. Regardless of whether or not the comparison is accurate, why do you care? What is so bad about peope equating raising a dog with raising a child? I could start arguing about the price we pay for doggy daycare, obedience classes, vitamins and nutritional supplements and the like, but none of that matters because it shouldn’t matter to anyone else if I consider my dogs and my child to be equal responsibilities.
Though I totally agree that having a dog isn’t the same as raising a child, I think sometimes the comparison (and reason couples get a dog first before trying to have kids) is less about money and buying things and more about having to put something else before yourself. Sure, you can leave a dog home alone for a few hours, but you also have to plan for walks and potty breaks, make sure it’s not destroying your stuff or eating something bad and getting enough exercise. If you want to go out of town, you have to make arrangements. If you want go to out after work, you have to pre-plan. If the dog is sick, you have to stay home and take care of it. And that dog is never going to grow up to be self-sufficient like your child (hopefully) will. You’re going to have to feed, walk and groom it for the entire length of its life. Having a dog is a huge commitment, if admittedly less than having a kid. But it’s a good trial for someone considering whether he or she is even marginally ready for the great responsibility of having a child.
Not to mention it doesn’t take much effort to get a dog to sleep through the night.
I mean, I love my dog. And if a couple is thinking about having kids, I don’t see anything wrong with getting a dog first, because it is practice in taking care of someone else. But it’s not a kid.