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A friend was telling me about Downton Abbey, the British television period drama series that’s taking the world by storm. It won big at the Golden Globes and my husband and I will be watching it soon thanks to the wonders of Netflix. Anyway, my friend was saying that the whole premise of the show is unimaginable sexism. Basically, laws prohibited estates from passing to female heirs and since both male heirs of Downton Abbey dying unexpectedly, the estate goes to a distant third cousin. And there’s nothing the daughters can do about it.
Now, why did the male heirs die? Well, they were on the Titanic. And in those days, of course, it was “women and children first.” Most of the women on the Titanic survived whereas most of the men lost their lives saving the women’s. That’s why Downton Abbey lost its heirs. In fact, 74% of the women on board the Titanic were saved and 52% of the children, but only 20% of the men. Even the women in the bowels of the ship had a better survival rate than first class passengers who were males. These are fascinating and sobering statistics.
Now cut to 100 years later and we have stories coming out of the Costa Concordia. There’s no comparison of the two disasters in terms of loss of life, but much of that is due to felicitous circumstances such as the temperature of the water and the rescue operations located nearby. Still, I get the feeling that some women were hoping the “women and children first” mantra would rule the day while some men had no use for it. x (It was never a legal requirement but did have cultural importance for a while.) Take this account from an Australian paper:
AN Australian mother and her young daughter have described being pushed aside by hysterical men as they tried to board lifeboats on the stricken Costa Concordia cruise ship.
Michelle Barraclough, 46, of Melbourne, said she and husband John Sultana clutched on to their 12-year-old daughter Katherine to keep her by their side during the mayhem as 4000 passengers tried to cram on to lifeboats and flee the violently listing vessel.
“It was every man for himself,” Ms Barraclough said.
Now, what’s the problem? I hope women have figured out by now that you don’t need to scowl at men for opening the door or offering seats on the metro — although that was certainly a problem when I went to school. But after years of being told that such acts of chivalry are demeaning to women, it’s kind of weird to be held to a different standard when it comes to orderly evacuation from a capsizing boat, no?
Now, I’m sure that both men and women acted hysterically during this event. We haven’t heard too many stories of heroism — particularly from the captain, who abandoned the ship mid-evacuation. But it is interesting to compare with accounts of the Titanic disaster. As National Review‘s Rich Lowry mentions in his column this week:
Guys aboard the Costa Concordia apparently made sure the age of chivalry was good and dead by pushing it over and trampling on it in their heedless rush for the exits. The grounded cruise ship has its heroes, of course, just as the Titanic had its cowards. But the discipline of the Titanic’s crew and the self-enforced chivalric ethic that prevailed among its men largely trumped the natural urge toward panicked self-preservation.
Women and children went first, and once the urgency of the situation became clear, breaches weren’t tolerated. The crew fired warning shots to keep men from rushing the lifeboats. In an instance Daniel Allen Butler recounts in his book, “Unsinkable,” a male passenger trying to make it on one lifeboat was rebuffed and then beaten for his offense.
The Titanic evacuation was known for its orderliness in the face of death while the Costa Concordia evacuation was nothing short of a goat rodeo. Do you think the lack of chivalry contributed to the chaos? Does it matter?
First: the idea that the Titanic was a model of order during an evacuation is laughable. Part of the reason so much life was lost was that people were freaking out so much (and rushing the boats), so many of the lifeboats were sent out holding less than half the people they were meant for.
Second: I think it is totally shameful to support old school patriarchy. It is a system devised to keep women subservient to men and pretending that it you are supporting anything but that with this tired and trite piece is just sad.
Adult human beings should be respectful of each other, regardless of what they happen to be packing below the belt. If you see someone is coming in behind you, hold the door. If your date got the tab last time, this time its your turn. If anyone on the subway looks as if they might need a seat more than you–because they are elderly, or have a kid with them or they just look tired–offer them the seat. Basically, following the golden rule and maybe paying a little less attention to whether the person you are helping out has a penis or a vagina.
The only reason I think women should have been allowed on the lifeboats with the kids is b/c men are pretty useless when it comes to childcare. How the hell would these children survive if their mothers are dead? Sure as hell aint gonna be raised by their dads!
Can’t tell you how many men I know can’t be bothered to be left alone with their babies/children for more than 10 min at a time. I’m not kidding. I know a guy (who ironically just took a cruise) with 2yr old twins & any time the wife has a dr. appt, haircut, or a dinner date with friends he schedules a SITTER so he can sit & watch TV. B/c he’d rather pay someone than be alone with those kids for TWO SECONDS. Useless to a fault, you men are. Yes, women & children off the boat!!
Wow. Can’t get much more sexist then that. Men are very capable, just as capable as women, of raising children. Men do it all the time, when the mother isn’t gatekeeping.
And I’d bet you’d be the first to go whinging if a man said a women is useless with a wrench or computer hardware.
113 days ago
[...] been glued to my computer absorbing every last detail of the Costa Concordia sinking. It’s embarrassing to admit, really, but the images are everywhere and I just can’t [...]
I was on a cruise in the Caribbean when the sinking happened. I had to laugh about the fact that on our ship we never used the elevators since there was so much pushing and rudeness just to get on. Couldn’t image any of those people making an orderly exit to the lifeboats…
I don’t believe that since I am a woman I should be put on a lifeboat first. I feel that the most important people to get on those boats are children, the elderly, and the disabled.
I am not shocked about not letting women go first, I am shocked about how quickly people went nuts and had an insane mob mentality and just went “EVERYONE GET OUTTA MY WAY RAAR” while only thinking of themselves. Many people have no social skills or real life relationships anymore because they sit on the internet all day, getting fatter and weirder by the minute. Just look at the socially inept males who sit in their mothers basement all day watching My Little Pony even though they are adults. Disgusting.
Let me get this straight…women can have all their independence NO “too pretty for homework” shirts, but equality goes out the window when a ship is sinking? Just fuck your rights, let men die and ignore nature and let themselves die? Would you like them to carry you to a life boat as well? If you are going on a cruise, let all men know how to swim and you can just sit there and look pretty?
This is why women issues will not be taken seriously because you want them for one thing, make a big stink about it, and kick and pout because you weren’t treated like a woman for another.
YOU CANNOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, LADIES!
While it sucks that everyone panicked and not many did heroic acts, this is pretty much nature. When you are on a sinking ship, most gentility, both for men and women alike goes out the window. As for the captain, yes it is a nice thing to pledge to go down with the ship, but, what do you do? Pull out a chair and wait for death? It goes against your body’s nature to do something like that. This will only show that people need to take drills seriously, I bet most people joke and text during their emergency drills..now they will think again.
One word: Darwin
A comment that came about in regards to the Titanic, but has been surfacing in the comments section of many of these Costa Concordia articles is:
“There are no feminists on a sinking ship”.
I think the quote is very apt.
Haha Thumper, most of my guy friends are scientists, its sticking to me.
YES, Mark! That is exactly what seems to be going on here…tsk tsk, ladies!
In my colleagues’ defense, they are pretty consistent and presumably fine with the death of chivalry. They may be celebrating on its grave as we speak! Not everyone at Mommyish holds the same opinions. I happen to support differing roles for males and females not just as a fact of nature but also a mark of a civilized society (although I tried not to be too heavy handed as I wrote this — I just think it’s interesting how chivalry has been extinguished in relatively short order and what some of the side effects of that are).
Understood. But why should it be chivalry that is dead? Shouldn’t people (yes, women too) just be courteous to others, period? Shouldn’t women open doors for men, pay a dinner bill or two for once in their life, save a man’s life? It’s just common courtesy that is dead, not chivalry. I had a sociology professor that did a study about opening doors in which he would stop in an approaching door and see if the woman accompanying him would open the door, he said most women just stood there and waited, others even fought with him over this. Men get tired and need a little courtesy too.
And, historically, all these so called chivalrous men, were pretty crappy people in every other affair even in private matters with their own women.
That isn’t what this article was saying at all, and you are a moron. Also, do you think that your attitude applies to innocent children too? I’ve never had much tolerance for the whole ‘women before men’ portion of that idea, but innocent children being pushed aside for grown men makes she shudder.
Ugh, Cee is one of those women who hates other women. Probably a big butch girl who is envious of all the thin pretty girls who actually get attention from guys. “All the other women are evil hypocrite feminazi bitches, and I’M the only cool one! Guys, look at how COOL I am unlike those OTHER women!”
And is the criticism of the men’s behaviour as poor due to their self-serving behaviour being more self-serving than the women’s, or simply more self-serving than the chivalrous men or yore, IE, they were as self-sacrificing as the critics would like them to have been (ether because the critics are women who’s self interests would have been better served on board, or because the critic has the benefit of not actually having been in the situation themselves to test their resolve)
Correction:
“… the chivalrous men of yore, IE, they weren’t as…”