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Earlier this week Mommyish Editor Shawna Cohen wrote “Want An Abortion? Good Luck Finding A Willing Doctor In The U.S.” She reported on a new survey published in Obstetrics and Gynecology that shows only 14 percent of OBGYNS perform abortions.
See, I chose my doctor precisely because she doesn’t do abortions. I’ve been with her for almost 15 years now and she’s seen me through thick and thin. She’s delivered both of my children. I’m only slightly exaggerating when I say I’d take a bullet for her. I found her through a friend and I’ve since had many other friends sign up with her. We all talk about how much we love her. Some of them keep using her as their doctor even after they’ve moved far away. With her Jamaican accent and unbelievable bedside manner, she puts everyone at ease whether they’re going through a routine Pap or hard labor. Whether my friends and I have gone through miscarriages, genetic abnormalities, STDs or unplanned pregnancies, her gentle ease has guided us. She gives us straightforward advice about sex, marital communications and breastfeeding. She’s the best. And she doesn’t do abortions, as a matter of conscience. She doesn’t believe that they are right. Neither do I. I have, of course, friends who have had them and I understand the difficulty of being in a situation where you feel abortion is the best thing to do. But I believe firmly that all human life is sacred and I want a doctor who shares that view when the going gets tough.
I’d never even thought about OBGYNs doing abortions but it was my mom or my sister back in my home state who suggested I ask prospective doctors if they do them. For me, it’s important that a doctor have a major commitment to taking care of my life and the life of my unborn child. I have heard so many stories from women who switched doctors because their doctors didn’t share their values or views on this issue. You don’t realize how much of a problem it is until a situation arises.
One of my friends had to flee the practice she had been going to — and I don’t use those words lightly — because they wouldn’t stop pressuring her to end the life of her son who has Down syndrome. Her pregnancy was already harrowing, she was as anxious as any first-time pregnant mother would be and nervous about having a child with special needs. The pressure to abort was way too much, though. She finally found a practice mid-pregnancy that supported her belief that having Down syndrome was not a capital offense. Her son is awesome, by the way.
Another friend was livid at how a doctor made her return from vacation to test for genetic problems because an initial test showed there might be some. But he wouldn’t tell her why she had to return. It was her first pregnancy and she was freaked out. Turned out he insisted she return so quickly because she was nearing a deadline for an abortion. She was livid because had she known that was the reason, there’s no way in hell she would have come back since there’s no way in hell she’d have an abortion.
My own husband’s mother switched doctors when she was pregnant with him because her first doctor recommended abortion on account of her age. (Fun side note: this is how my husband came to be delivered at the same hospital as President Obama!)
My doctor, on the other hand, is almost a relic from a bygone era. She’s the sole doctor in her practice. When I was hospitalized while pregnant with my first child (car accident), the nurses all told me how much they loved my doctor and they said that she’s the doctor that other doctors and nurses go to. She’s that good.
I want a doctor who affirms the sanctity of life at all stages. I don’t want someone who I have to fight against if I find out that my child is not genetically typical. My doctor is a wonderful blessing in my life. A loving but no-nonsense woman who has performed surgery on me and seen me from singlehood to motherhood. I trust her in part because I know we share the same values on the sanctity of life. She said it well when I first got pregnant: Now I have two patients. That’s what I’m looking for in a doctor.
I don’t get it. I’m mid-40′s, have had plenty of sex, never wanted to get pregnant and by taking precautions, I never have been pregnant. Is it really that hard? I am asking seriously here.
@janell
Yeah..you would think that having sex without falling pregnant is some enormous feat that no one could ever accomplish….that’s the way pro “choice” people make it seem anyway.
It’s amazing how as soon as you say that you are pro life and prefer to be around other people who share the same values as you do with regards to the human life, a pro choice person will pop out from the shadows happily announcing that they had an abortion like it was the worlds greatest achievement and how utterly proud they are of themselves for being able to have the living person inside them killed so that their lives would once again be oh so free. Here is what the point of this womans post was – she loves the fact that her doctor shares her views and just wanted other woman who feel the same way to know how great it feels for her so that they in return could share their happy experiences. Im pretty damn sure that it was in no way an invite to any pro choice person who just felt the need to come and ramble off all sorts of abusive and obscene or accusatory things going as far as being incredibly childish to bring religion into the conversation. Oh and furthermore a D&C can IS USED to abort live babies while yes, it is also used to remove the baby if it has passed away and the mother is at risk of serious infection for not being able to miscarry normally. Perhaps before some people get on their high horses they should take some time to research the topics or issues they so love to argue about because when you get silly and don’t know what you are talking about you just look ridiculous. I suggest looking up everything about a D&C before claiming its not one thing or the other.
Response to the comment regarding D&C: This isn’t an abortion unless the baby is alive. My baby died at 7 weeks and I had a D&E (like a D&C) because of failure to pass the remains…..a prolife/non-abortion OB would also do a surgery like this. My midwife was concerned about hemorrhage and I had no qualms since my baby was no longer living.
Glad she’s not my OB. MY OB came into the hospital on a Sunday to do an emergency D&C (you know…an abortion) for my pregnancy that had failed and was failing to self-abort.
I would NOT want a doctor who could not provide ALL obstetric and gynecological care for me. I find it unethical if a doctor is an OB/GYN they are unable to do everything it takes to look after my reproductive health.
a D & C is NOT an abortion..
Did everyone miss the opening paragraph where it says that its hard to get an abortion in America?
I would personally rather have a dr who is able to provide abortion services if I do need one.
This country would be a lot better off if people listened. Just because a dr suggested abortion as an option doesn’t mean you have to get one.
In cases of special needs, its quailty vs quanity of life. Unfortunately, we’re all making that choice for a potintal person – we’re not the ones who will have to live our lives with special needs, some that make so people can’t function on any level independently.
This article strikes me as a load of exaggeration and nonsense.
Let me tell you something: I received my pre-natal care from a family planning clinic. The same family planning clinic where I ALSO received an abortion. I was never pressured to do anything–because the clinic was pro-CHOICE.
There are plenty of “I don’t do abortions” OB-GYNs who will try to explain your options to you while facing a high risk pregnancy. That’s NOT “pressure.” That’s options.
You saw what you wanted to see. Your friend saw what she wanted to see. Bully for you that you decided to go to an OB-GYN who “won’t do abortions.” I would never, ever be the patient of someone who did not think that MY HEALTH was more important than ideaology.
Btw, the doctor who made sure that he told the woman about the fetus’s problems was just being a professional. Also, he or she could probably be sued for not advising a pregnant woman of her medical options as soon as possible.
Doctors, even obgyn’s, sometimes do not have the best communication skills. My cousin is an Internist, and though he is intellectually brilliant and super conscientious, he comes off as a bit condescending and paternalistic.
I actually think doctors who provide abortions are very courageous by their refusal to turn their backs on women in need. Also, don’t be naive about outlawing abortion. The wealthy have always and will always be able to have abortions provided in secret by private doctors. The non-wealthy will just google instructions on how to do it themselves, like women do in South America.
Totally agreed, except it’s not just in South America: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/05/nyregion/05abortion.html?hp
And with more and more states making abortions more costly, longer processes that many women have to travel hours to obtain the rich continue to enjoy more reproductive rights than the poor.
Melissa and lauren,
Wait until you have a high risk pregnancy and you will see how many doctors constantly push abortion on you, not as an option, but as the option. Even when your chart is noted several times that you will not consider it, I have seen my chart to verify this is in there, every time you meet a new practitioner they will push this option. I come home from the OB in tears every visit. And I don’t have a choice of going to a doc because no other practice will even consider delivering my baby due to the potential problems.
I would love to have the luxury of a doctor who didn’t perform abortions, or perfectly healthy twins.
As George Carlin observed, the “Pro-Life” movement has nothing to do with life or “saving babies” — it’s purely Anti-Woman, designed to force us to be nothing more than walking incubators for Christ.
Any “woman” who supports that should be dumped in the middle of the Pacific as shark bait.
So, you support the murder of any woman who doesn’t think the life of an unborn child is worth saving? That actually sounds perfectly consistent.
I care for the unborn AND their mothers. I would do anything to help a desperate pregnant woman, except kill her baby. You name it and I would do it for her. I’ve had a crisis pregnancy myself, and honestly…not ONE pro-choice person offered to help me if I wanted to keep the baby. However the pro-life, provided healthcare, gave advise on mothering, and provided EVERYTHING I needed for a baby and more. Really (crib,highchair,toys,clothes,etc.) everything was given to me!! I LOVE these women now, as for the anti-life like yourself(really you want to kill babies AND all the pro-life, what are you some kind of psycho??), thanks for NOTHING!
HB: I’m not sure where you are from and perhaps what you say is true for you, but most “crisis pregnancy” centers don’t even offer pre-natal care, never mind help after the baby is born. What they offer is lies, shame and high school dropouts pretending to have a medical degree. Planned Parenthood, on the other hand, routinely offers pre-natal medical care, post natal-medical care and referrals and financial aid for pediatrics, counseling and other support services. They provided me with all this information when I went in to have an abortion because they wanted to be sure I knew all my options before making MY choice. Please stop spreading misinformation and try and do even the smallest bit of fact checking before you post ignorance again.
A prerequisite for logical, intelligent debate or discussion is making an honest attempt to understand the other viewpoint. You have obviously met none of these criteria. The ENTIRE pro-life movement is about the sanctity of life.
There are thousands of laws on the books that put restrictions on what you can do with your body. You can’t drive your body on the wrong side of the road, or even without a seat belt in most places. You can’t take illegal drugs or even prescription drugs without a prescription. The only reason that abortion is so inflammatory to people one the pro-choice side is because it only applies to women.
Believe it or not, there are also tons of laws that apply primarily to men, yet if they are a logical law, we do not get angry about them just because they are applied more often to men than women. 98% of rapists are men. It would be ridiculous for me to say that I am opposed to laws against rape because they target men.
Please, use common sense before trying to make nonsensical, unintelligent arguments.
Three things that I need to get clear here:
1) I have HAD an abortion and have never met an OB-GYN who tried to pressure me into aborting. I have met both doctors and “doctors” and plenty of vile protesters who have attempted to force me (and the women and girls in my situation) to remain pregnant. There have been numerous cases of fake “crisis pregnancy” centers purposely misleading women who seek abortions in order to force them into giving birth. In some cases they do this by lying about the costs or risks of the procedures and in others they have gone so far as A) stalking the young women and contacting their family and friends in an attempt to shame them and B) lying about things like waiting periods so that the women who are attempting to receive medical attention pass the deadline.
2) In this country women’s health rights (and women’s rights in general) are under attack and it is actually becoming extremely difficult to receive medical care. So called “Pro-Life” activists have successfully harassed (and murdered) abortion doctors out of existence in many states, have created huge barriers that prevent all but the most affluent of women from receiving abortions and have made it so that even victims of rape or women who have serious and life threatening complications can not receive adequate medical care.
3) I’m GLAD I had an abortion. I’d be reliant on the state for my upkeep (which a ton of you super conservative “Christians” are also trying to take away…awesome Pro-Life values!) and I can tell you now that both I and the father would have been horrible parents. Now I have a beautiful daughter (who would NOT exist if I had not had an abortion all those years ago–so since you speak for God, please explain that one) and a loving husband. We were both ready to be parents, we have the means to care for her and we genuinely care for and love each other and plan on remaining as an intact family. But of course, I should have just been Bristol Palin instead so you guys could complain about my lazy butt on welfare, right?
Jen,
I don’t believe your story. I mean, if Mollie sharing her personal life—using her real name—isn’t credible, then certainly yours isn’t either, right? You are very judgmental about Christians and conservatives (interesting how you assume so much about your interlocutors – you know that some of us are democrats and atheists, right?) and filled with hate. Again, I might suggest there are better therapies for that than raging against Mrs. Hemingway.
Wow, Chris, you kind of seem a little obsessed with both me and Mollie. I’m a little worried about you and your comprehension skills. Even more so since you don’t seem to understand that mine isn’t a “story” of “these women I know” but a collection of verifiable facts. If you are having trouble doing research (google can be so hard!) I’ll gladly post the links myself. Let me know.
As for being anonymous, when your side stops murdering and harassing people who perform or receive abortions I’ll start posting all my contact information online. Mollie knows she can spout whatever vile rhetoric she wants to without fear of retribution since there are exactly zero recorded cases of anti-choicers being tracked down and violently assaulted. Not so much for those of us on my side and I’m not going to put my own or my daughter’s life in danger.
Finally, I want to say something about being judgmental about anti-choicers. You bet your bottom dollar I am. Anyone who believes in forcing a woman to carry a baby to term is NOT female friendly and I would not hesitate to say that they are attempting to turn women into reproductive slaves. Just like with marriage equality and religious freedom: believe whatever the hell you’d like and live your life that way, but if you attempt to force others to live according to your belief system you are an oppressive monster and I will call you out as such. Also…and here’s where reading comprehension is important: Conservative is not equal to Republican. There are plenty of pro-choice republicans and anti-choice Democrats. Politics has nothing to do with that. And if you are trying to enforce your will on people without even having a religious motivation than you are even worse off than I thought.
Jen,
They may very well be facts, but you certainly haven’t made them verifiable. They are no more verifiable than Mollie’s, whom you have insinuated is lying.
There certainly have been terrible murders committed by a few deranged people. But it’s important to note that the pro-life movement across the board condemns those acts immediately and vociferously. I deplore such acts not only because they are wrong but because they are contrary to everything we stand for and are entirely unhelpful. As for fear of retribution, one of your side (see above) has just stated that all pro-life women should be murdered. Do you agree with that?
Also, do you agree that I have the right to freedom of speech, that I can say I disagree with abortion and would like to see it outlawed, and that I should be allowed to say that in any public place, so long as I don’t infringe on the rights of others?
I’m glad you agree about being judgmental. It’s an important point to get past. Now, here’s the rub: my “belief system” as you call it entails respect for every human life. Do you think murder should be condoned? Theft? Lying under oath? Damage to the property of others? Do you think the government should enforce such standards of behavior and ethics? If so, what is the basis of your thinking that belief system should be imposed upon others?
As for religion, while I do hold to a particular religion, I don’t think that should be imposed upon anyone – nor do I want any religion, or irrelegion, imposed upon me. My opinions regarding law rest in a belief that every human person has a fundamental right to life and liberty. Do you share that belief?
Chris,
You seem to not understand that “freedom of speech” does not equate to you saying whatever you want (and implying in numerous posts that I am mentally deranged) and then yelling that your rights are being imposed upon when someone tells you that you are wrong and that your beliefs make you a bad person. Those are my beliefs and that is my freedom of speech. I will fight tooth and nail to make sure that the imposition of your “belief system” on all women’s bodies never comes to pass and I will fight tooth and nail to continue to make sure that you can spout whatever nonsense you wish to, because that is what I believe. I will also fight to ensure that groups like this one: http://www.choicesaz.org/pregnancy/post-abortion_recovery/ are not able to spread lies. And since there are exactly NO links between abortion and breast cancer, ectopic pregnancy and depression (and in fact women who carry pregnancies to term are MORE likely to develop depression: http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/depression-pregnancy.cfm) I would think those qualify as verifiably lies.
You can also attempt to claim that the pro-life movement as a whole condemns violence and violent rhetoric, but the fact remains that protestors stand outside of clinics every single day yelling vitrol at women (some of whom are not even there to receive abortions). Here’s a website run by an anti-choice group that compares women receiving abortions (and doctors, nurses and clinic staff) to Nazis: http://www.christiangallery.com/atrocity/ They also post pictures of people going in and out of clinics and attempt to collect their personal information in order to continue their intimidation. And tons of Pro-life groups spent millions of dollars lobbying in congress to defund Planned Parenthood despite the fact that the funds received by PP from the Federal Government LEGALLY can not be used for abortions but are used to fund things like pre and post natal care (as in caring for pregnant women before and after they give birth including ultrasounds, vitamins, high risk checkups), free or subsidized birth control (which is really the best way I can think of to REDUCE the rate of abortion), and cancer screenings. They also provide free or subsidized health care to men and children who have low incomes.
Chris, I hate to break it to you, but by saying that women should not have the right to make up their own minds in regards to abortion you’ve already made it clear your belief system does not respect all “human life”. You value a lump of cells more than you do women. That’s ok, but if I’m admitting I’m judging you for trying to make us all reproductive slaves you need to be able to admit you are kind of totally ok with that. Many women: roughly You are also twice victimizing a small percentage of women, unless of course you are willing to make an exception for the roughly 13,000 women who seek abortions after being raped?
As to the remainder of your argument, the basic premis is flawed because you believe that a mass of cells constitutes the same thing as a thinking, breathing, feeling, fully actuated person. That may be your right, but since I don’t spend my time mourning my uterine lining and my husband’s sperm I’d really prefer that you keep your feelings out of my body.
Jen, you’re my hero.
It sounds like the bigger issue is finding a doctor who won’t push you one way or the other. I would have no problem with a doctor who performs abortions. I would just hope that if I was in a difficult situation, that doctor would give me ALL my options. Just as fact, not like pushing me into something.
You actually CAN value life and still be pro-choice. Just like you can believe in God and evolution. The two are not incompatible. I hate that pro-life arguments are so religiously based….we have got to stop assuming we all know what God is thinking.
Thank you, Christy. This is what I was trying to say, and I couldn’t quite get it out.
I think the Pro-Life vs Pro-Choice arguments somehow always get skewed. It isn’t, Pro-abortion, it’s Pro-Choice, meaning everyone woman has the right to choose if they have a baby or not. If you are pregnant and keep the baby, that is a choice. It is a choice EVERY SINGLE TIME someone has a baby, planned or not. If a doctor tells you that the baby you are pregnant with will be born with all kinds of genetic problems, it is a woman’s choice (as well as the baby’s father if he is in their lives) again whether or not they know they are capable of dealing with the kinds of obstacles that will occur because of it. Because a doctor tells you abortion is an option, doesn’t make them a bad doctor. I think it makes them a GOOD doctor for them telling you everything that can be done for you. I highly doubt that any doctor would tell you “you must have an abortion!!!” the way Mollie describes though. That might be how it FELT to the person it happened to, because the thought of having abortion was so foreign to her. It doesn’t mean she had to “flea” from the doctor’s office running from a doctor wielding a vacuum tube at her. The amount of therapy and appointments a woman has to go through before actually having an abortion is a lot more than it seems Mollie understands. Doctors will ask you over and over again, at various visits, before actually performing them.
I think what annoyed me about this article was the clear judgment in it. I’m glad you are Pro-Life Mollie, and have no problem telling people that, but please don’t come off with a “holier-than-thou” kind of attitude. It makes you no better than anyone else.
And I hope when you picked your doctor it wasn’t just because she doesn’t perform abortions, and that you did some research on her first. It seems to me she is a great doctor and you lucked out, but there should be more that goes into that decision besides this one factor.
I should also say, if you are Pro-Life, this should be a factor for you when choosing a doctor, just not the only one.
Lauren,
If you doubt that doctors encourage pregnant women to have abortions, you should talk to a few moms with kids, especially if *anything* possibly abnormal turns up in pre-natal testing. As a counselor, I’ve dealt with many pregnant women who have come to me in agony because they want their child but the doctor has advised abortion. In the vast majority of cases, the physician’s projections were wrong – and even where they weren’t, the women who have brought their baby to term have not regretted it.
I didn’t find Mollie’s article to be judgmental (in the pejorative sense), but there definitely is a judgment involved: either abortion is right, or it isn’t. It’s better for the whole conversation if we acknowledge that we are debating what we think to be right or wrong. If one believes, for example, that racism is wrong, then a judgment is being made – and the people who are racist are judged by those who believe it is wrong. “You’re being judgmental” isn’t a valid argument. (In fact, you, Lauren, were being judgmental in accusing Mollie of being judgmental. It simply isn’t a helpful statement for actually resolving differences.) The real argument is over whether or not Mollie’s—or your, or even Jen’s!—judgment is correct.
Chris,
Encourage and force are two different things. The way Mollie writes her friend’s experience makes it sound like she had to run from the premises because the doctor wanted to perform an abortion on her because it’s what he/she wanted, not what the friend wanted. I do believe that a doctor will tell you when abortion is the best option for you and the baby, the same way that a doctor will tell you what the best option for you is with any medical problem, even if it’s not what you want to do. I don’t have any doubt in my mind that having to decide whether or not to abort a baby with medical problems is the hardest thing imaginable, but it is an option that people will have to deal with. It’s not fair, but they do have to deal with it. Whether they choose to have the baby or not is their choice, a decision that can come naturally, or a decision that they agonize over, it’s still a choice that no doctor will make for you. I honestly believe it’s a case by case situation, and I don’t think it was wrong of her friend to keep a baby who would have special needs, nor would I think it was wrong for someone to have an abortion in the exact same situation. But as a counselor, you should know that if a woman walks into a doctor’s office to get an abortion, mind made up, she would still need to get counseling. Most places not only advise counseling, but require it. I also have a lot of friends who are moms, and a few who did have to make a decision like this, so I have talked to them. But just like Mollie’s friend, the situation was specific to that person, and will not be the same with anyone else. You cannot make a blanket statement regarding a specific situation.
If you re-read my comment, I actually don’t say Pro-Life is wrong. Also, I’m glad Mollie is so secure in her beliefs that she has no problem saying what she believes in to a public forum. However, telling me that me saying “you are being judgmental” is in fact judgmental, is also being judgmental. It’s a cycle. I don’t tell Mollie she is wrong. I also don’t believe Mollie is wrong. Is it my personal opinion, no, but she has the right to believe whatever she likes. Do I think her article is biased and not a good follow up to the original article that she was responding to? Yes, and that’s why I do not agree with Mollie’s article. It has nothing to do with her beliefs.
I’m really appalled at all the anti-choice rhetoric being thrown around in this post and the comments. All your comments about how easy it is to find a doctor who will perform an abortion flies in the face of actual facts about abortion access, but don’t let that get in your way.
@Mel, you are a tragically ignorant person. “You’re not ready for a pregnancy, don’t have unprotected sex. How about that?” It’s bad enough when men slut shame women, but to hear it from another woman? That’s very sad.
Lex, perhaps my experience is skewed because I live in a major metropolitan area, but access to abortion is from my perspective astonishingly easy. There are two abortion clinics in the *same* professional building within five miles of my home, located right along a major bus route, and within walking distance of the subway.
@Chris-Please go back and read the first paragraph of the article above.
And they are definitely in the same building because the building owner is willing to let them rent the space, not because there is an overwhelming amount of clinics around. Finding office space for abortion clinics is actually a huge problem as many office buildings don’t let them rent.
@Lex – I fail to see how suggesting that women behave responsibly (“don’t have unprotected sex”) is “slut shaming” them.
Additionally, I object to the use of the term “anti-choice” as a pejorative analogue for the Pro-Life movement. I don’t consider myself “anti-choice” by any means, and suspect that others likely feel the same. I support a variety of choices for women, including:
1. abstinence/celibacy
2. contraception, including Plan B for victims of rape and incest as well as for those who suffer a failure of their primary form of birth control
3. adoption
4. parenthood
Kudos to the author for finding an OB/GYN whose belief system mirrors her own, and for educating readers that they can do the same.
@Jen
Whatever your issues are, you should find a more constructive therapy for them. Your remarks are cruel and vicious, and your repeated attacks on Mollie’s posts are beginning to appear pathological.
I’m grateful that this article was written. It’s good to know that a doctor who is not against abortions would indeed pressure somebody to abort a disabled child, since I wouldn’t even want this possibility suggested to me. A woman who doesn’t mind having this suggestion or pressure put to her, who believes that abortion in some cases okay, may choose a doctor who would abort– but I would not.
Oh, grow up. If a doctor suggested it- here’s something revolutionary- you could say “no”. And plenty of doctors who don’t do abortions will bring up the topic anyway.
This does go to the larger issue for women of having good provider choice options.
For example, my wife – since she knew up front that abortion would be out the question regardless of circumstance – declined to allow any of the myriad of “genetic tests.” Along those same lines, she keeps (we have 3 children) her ultra-sounds and other evalutations during pregnancy to an absolute minimum.
While I am perfectly happy that you found the right doctor for you and your family, i don’t understand your thought process in writing this article as a response to the inability of many women to find a provider who will listen to them and their needs and to do their job as a physician. Also rae the vast majority of women who have abortions are not rape victims and 15 year old girls. They are women who already have kids and are not looking to have more. I’m sorry for the women’s experiences in this article but it PALES in comparison to women who are not only pressured not to have abortions but more importantly cannot find doctors willing to uphold their constitutional right to choice.
It’s also the authors right to find a physician that she’s comfortable with, so your judgment of her choice and thought process is unnecessary and uncalled for. After reading this article, I plan on asking my own OBGYN if she does abortions. If she does, I’m finding a new physician. I don’t believe in murdering children just because you don’t want them.
@Mel- You seem to have missed what I was saying. I was not judging her “choices and thought process” in regard to the “authors right to find a physician that she’s comfortable with”. In fact i said I was “perfectly happy that you found the right doctor for you and your family”. What I don’t understand is why the author thinks this is a necessary response to the fact that many women don’t have access to the fullest reproductive services and rights that we are constitutionally allowed. Different people have different opinions about abortion, that’s just the world. But this response came across as practically a threat to those doctors who provide medical services to their patients without letting their own personal views get in the way of doing their job. Please rejoice in the inability of American women to get the medical care they are seeking by further discouraging physicians to provide their patients with all medial options available to them.
Emma, it sounds like you are faulting this woman for choosing her OB because she does NOT perform abortions…. thus making it difficult for other women to find an OB that does? There certainly are OBs out there who will perform abortions. I don’t understand why you feel that Mollie’s choice in an OB threatens the choice of other women who may not care whether their OBs perform abortions. I don’t see your logic.
Again, I am not faulting Mollie for her personal choices, they are hers to make and she knows what is best for her family. What i am questioning is the very assumption you make “There certainly are OBs out there who will perform abortions.” Mollie wrote this article as a response to another on this site which states that actually no, it is very difficult to find OB’s willing to perform abortions. Thus by writing this as a response to that article and encouraging other women to do the same (as seen in the comments) she is “making it difficult for other women to find an OB that does” perform abortions as all medical practices rely on their patients to keep in businesses. Perhaps if you think of the aimed effects of a boycott it may be easier to think about what i am trying to say and try to understand the differences between a personal choice and a reflection of a personal choice on a website as a response to an OBGYN academic journal’s findings.
Great post about your experience. My own mother faced the same issues when she was pregnant with my brother. In 1983 she was 34 and because of her age her first OBGYN told her that she should “strongly consider terminating the pregnancy.”
Mom’s response: “I think instead I’ll terminate my relationship with you and get a new doctor.”
Glad to have my brother – would have missed him.
Im so tired of this argument….if a woman wants an abortion great then get one if not thats okay too its a personal decision and no woman should ever feel shamed regardless of the decision she makes.
I cant believe a Dr. would suggest a woman have an abortion because her child will be special needs.
That is a decision that is up to the mother carrying the child and is a very personal choice, the idea of someone pushing me to abort or keep a child is appaling.
This makes the notion of one choosing the highest good, without regard to what was chosen. If someone wants an abortion “great then get one”? You’re lucky that wasn’t your mother’s point of view. Wouldn’t have been so great for you or the people who are lucky to have you in their lives.
Every abortion wipes out an unrepeatable act of God. Each of us is unrepeatable, regardless of how much our mothers may want to exercise their legal right to burn us out of the womb.
@ MightyMighty, what if i don’t believe in God? are you saying that because you do believe in this God who, in your view, creates every child as an “unrepeatable act” that means i should too and thus believe that having an abortion is a sin and a direct violation of God? what if your religious views don’t apply to me, why should i be forced to follow them?
Like others have said, pro-choice doesn’t mean pro-abortion, it means regardless of your or anyone else’s religious views i decide when i believe life begins in my body. if i don’t believe it begins at conception that is my choice. there is no agreement within the medical community as to when life begins, so it is up to the woman to choose based on her personal beliefs.
Yea. It’s much better when doctors (and non doctors) attempt to force women to go through with pregnancies when they aren’t ready! I think it’s interesting that you and your friends are such statistical anomalies. Despite the fact that there are so few OB-GYNs in practice who will perform abortions you all miraculously wound up getting the few who will not only perform them but are actually abortion cheerleaders!
So…I’m confused by the point of your comment. Are you saying she’s lying? Are you saying that people who choose doctors that don’t perform abortions are wrong? Are you saying it’s better for doctors to encourage women to end a life, rather than preserve it? Isn’t that what doctors do? It doesn’t sound like any of her friends weren’t ready to have children.
Note that all of her friends who felt pressured towards terminating a pregnancy were women who willingly chose to have children, not rape victims or 15 year old girls. These are women who want to have children. On what planet is it appropriate to even suggest to an expectant mother that because her child might be different or her pregnancy difficult that she should just end it and try again?
If you’re not ready for a pregnancy, don’t have unprotected sex. How about that? .
My point is that dear Mollie writes a lot of very suspect articles that conveniently fit whatever conservative point she’s trying to make. It’s just odd that her life experiences fit so neatly with her viewpoints.
And I’ve NEVER met an OB-GYN who encouraged abortion. In fact, even the ones at Planned Parenthood where I received my abortion were very into making sure I was comfortable with my decision. I have felt and seen plenty of pressure put on women who do want to end a pregnancy from “pro-life” activists who think lying is ok since they are saving a “baby’s life”.
@Jen So is it not okay for Mollie to have life experiences (or *gasp*–beliefs?!?) that might shape her viewpoint differently than yours have? Just because she’s not following the common feminist blogger narrative doesn’t mean her viewpoint isn’t completely valid, and, dare I say, that of the majority of Americans. I’m very sorry you felt you had to end your “baby’s life.”
Susan: Not a baby, thus the quotation marks. And I’m not. I am sorry that there are still women like you and Mollie around who try and badger women into being walking uteri and who lie in order to get their own way. Mollie is a terrible writer and a bigot and you sound just as lovely.
It is not hard to get an abortion in this country. You don’t need the majority of OBs to perform abortions to make accessible. It’s pretty hard to “force someone” to go through with pregnancies when they “aren’t ready.” (Incidentally, you do know that future pregnancies are with different children, right? The ones you end are done, wiped out forever, right? So, ready or not, this is that child’s only chance at life.)
Plus, not performing abortions is NOT the same thing as being pro-life. Plenty of docs won’t do the dirty work themselves, but have no problem giving referrals to the people who specialize in this particularly barbaric practice.
And with my first pregnancy, I was encouraged to consider abortion by a doc who didn’t perform them, because there was a chance that my son’s 2-vessel umbilical cord would mean serious defects. Turns out he was perfectly healthy. So that mentality of “better a dead baby than an atypical baby” can really screw with a woman’s sense of how serious the situation is.