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Well finally one parent puts raising a transgendered child into proper perspective. Saffron James has accepted the gender dysphoria in her 10-year-old daughter Livvy James who returned to school this autumn as a girl. She says that asking her daughter to continue to live as a boy would be the equivalent of “child abuse.”
Although Saffron and her husband had long since accepted Livvy’s conventionally feminine tendencies in the home, they asked her to dress as a boy to maintain a certain safety at school. But Saffron began to see that asking her daughter to maintain a dual identity was taking an emotional, as well as a physical, toll on the child:
‘Livvy was emotionally volatile at school and was complaining of headaches and stomach aches at home. It was at this point I realised I needed some help,’ says Saffron…It was a hospital paediatrician who first mentioned gender dysphoria. Livvy was referred to the Tavistock Centre in London, a mental health clinic that offers a specialist NHS service dealing with children and adolescents who have gender issues.
‘We saw a consultant there and Livvy told the doctor very clearly she felt she was a girl and wanted to live as a girl,’ says Saffron.
Phillip adds: ‘That meeting really challenged us as parents about our perceptions about gender.’
‘We’d been anxious about protecting Livvy, by dressing her in boys’ clothes outside the home. But the consultant asked: “If she feels like a girl, why make her wear boys’ clothes if it makes her unhappy?” … ‘Livvy felt angry at having to put on this alter ego. She hated having to tell lies about what she did in her summer holidays or what her favourite toy was.’
Saffron insists that Livvy ultimately made the decision to return to school as a girl and do away with her “cover” as a boy. In defending her choice as a parent, she tells Daily Mail:
‘It would have been child abuse to force her to live as a boy.’
Parents frequently defend their decision to uphold their child’s biological gender identity for the child’s well-being. While such efforts may quell teasing at school and scorn from certain parents, people rarely speak about how asking a transgendered child to maintain a fake, or in these case dual, identity can negatively impact their mental health and development. No parent wants to see their children victimized by bullies, but asking them to conceal who they are could possibly do even more damage.
(photo: dailymail.co.uk)
I saw this lovely lady & her daughter on BBC breakfast this morning & although I felt angry for them in regards to the bigatry they have faced, especially from other parents at their school, my overwhelming & lasting thoughts after seeing them was, this is a lady that epitomises what it means to be a mother. She undoubtably through a roller coaster of her own emotions has allowed her child to be happy to be who she is & she is proud of her. Livvy is lucky to have such a supportive family & hopefully people hearing & seeing their story will help other transgender people. I wish Livvy all the best in life & her family only happiness.
223 days ago
[...] all these supportive parents of transgender children in the news lately is nothing short of awesome. While transgender children may have to endure relentless [...]
Livvy is such a lucky kid. I hope she & her family continue to speak out on behalf of trans children and their families in the future.
Thank you for posting this. There is a lot of misunderstanding and bigotry surrounding transgender issues and so it is refreshing to see that this family is being so supportive. Great story, kudos on giving it more visibility.
It’s really wonderful that these parents care enough about their child to do what is best for her. While I’m sure this poor girl will face teasing and persecution (probably well beyond her school years), having parents who have gone the distance to get informed and involved will hopefully help to counter those negative effects. And it seems clear that they care more about their child than anything else and will clearly do whatever they need to to make sure she grows up feeling well loved and accepted.