Martha Stewart’s Daughter Says Her Childhood Sucked And I’m Not Shocked

The icon of modern domesticity Martha Stewart apparently wasn’t such a fantastic mommy according to her daughter, Alexis Stewart. The daughter of the patron saint of homemaking has written a book claiming that she was denied a bra at puberty, made to wrap her own Christmas presents as a kid, and never had a proper Halloween with costumes or trick-or-treating.

If you’re a regular Martha Stewart Living reader, than you already know those details might as well place you in the ninth circle of hell as far as homemaking is concerned.

Alexis, who coldly refers to her mother as “Martha,” told the press:

‘Martha does everything better! You can’t win!’ Alexis Stewart says of her world-famous mother, 70.

If I didn’t do something perfectly, I had to do it again… I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head.’

Sounds about right when you consider the precise way in which Martha is always positioning those cakes and icing desserts. Seeing how little Martha allows for error in her presentation, I doubt she would allow much of it in her kids. Floral aprons and a penchant for gardening have never fooled me. Martha has always struck me as the sort of mother whose house I would wander and be afraid to touch anything. Not because I could potentially break anything, but because of the searing look I would receive upon leaving an indent in her pristine white sofa.

The woman has always struck me as adamantly anti-kid. Anyone who invests that much time in the arrangement of napkins cannot be compatible with children or their temperaments. Alexis echoes my suspicions, saying that her mother was hardly maternal and “not kid friendly” with had “a very hands-off approach to child rearing.”

Things between the two have not cooled even as Alexis has grownup. She is quoted as saying that she hardly ever has Martha over for dinner:

‘But can you blame me? Because, sometimes this is what will happen: whatever I serve, she’ll sip it, taste it, make a face, and push it away.’

Prepping for the arrival of your mother in your grownup life is stressful enough. But imagine the stress that would consume you if your mother is Martha Stewart? A store bought quiche simply would not do.

(photo: WENN)